how many slams in an old screen door? Depends on how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread—depends on how thin you cut it. how many goods in a day depends on how we live them. how much love in a friend depends on how much we give them.
with friends, it is so easy, we say give up toxic friends but the toxic friend is toxic probably one, because we let them be toxic to us, two, probably because we are toxic to them!! we could be spending time with energy drainers rather than the ones that nourish us along our path.
During my Amway days, they kept telling us, hang around with your betters, but our betters… in whatever sense, we are not as good, so why would they hang around with us. if I am in a friendship only when it nourishes me then am I not being selfish? Yes I understand, we have enough of twists and turns in our life without cultivating entertaining the drain boards. One thing that I did learn from a friend who exhausts me with her complaints and foul mouth is when I am embarking on some experiment, she supports me, when it falls she does not point fingers but she becomes the care giver her foul mouth and all.
May be we can simply begin by noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see than an old friend is still carrying on negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long term relationship with some one who has the habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support.
Though I do feel that putting myself ahead of the other is not right, maybe tackling this in an another way might work. Like having a frank talk. Somewhere I realized the process was not about abandoning old friends as it was about shifting relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than hold us back I mean even within the context of the relationship.
Getting worn out and run down only robs us of receiving what we need from the universe.
Our natural state of being is vibrant, happy to be alive, yet there can be times when we feel run down and worn out. This does not me that we are lazy or unfit for the tasks in our lives, it means that we need to change our batteries and find a way of keeping them charged.
We can replete our physical draining, but it is the constant emotional strain might be causing the exhaustion.
Whenever I feel run down taking an honest look at what I have been thinking, feeling and acting helps, I find that there is a belief, behaviour pattern or an relationship that is out of alignment with who I really am. I try to adapt myself to my perception of what their perception and demands on me would be. Sometimes there have just been too many things on my plate. The need to weed out and work things does become important.
Eventually I realized that the reason that I felt run down had less to do with how much I doing and more to do with the fact that in my heart I would rather be doing something else entirely different.
What helped me sort this confusion was the morning page and gratitude page.