Beyond The Goal Curtain

Musing at Mango Meadows.

In the serene confines of Mango Meadows, the Indian equivalent of the famed Drone’s Club, the atmosphere was one of relaxed camaraderie. The members, a mix of professionals and socialites, had gathered for their usual afternoon tea. Among them were Oliver Glossop, his father Sebastian Glossop, and their long-time family friends Sid and Sara Bellad.

Oliver, a young man with a keen interest in mindfulness and emotional intelligence, had been introducing new ideas to his father and their friends. Today, the topic of discussion had turned to the sense of emptiness that often follows the achievement of a significant goal.

“Papa,” Oliver began, addressing his father, Sebastian Glossop, “I’ve been thinking about the arrival fallacy that Tal Ben-Shahar talks about. It’s that phenomenon where achieving a goal doesn’t bring as much satisfaction as anticipated. People often feel lost afterwards.”

Sebastian, sipping his tea thoughtfully, nodded. “Yes, Olly, that’s an interesting point. In psychiatry, we see this often. Patients experience a drop in dopamine levels after achieving their goals, which can lead to feelings of emptiness or even depression.”

Sid Bellad, always one for practical wisdom, chimed in. “I see this with my medical students all the time. After years of studying and finally graduating, they often feel a void. It’s like they’ve reached the end of a marathon and don’t know what to do next.”

Sara, ever supportive, added, “That’s why it’s so important to have multiple baskets, as you say, Oliver. Diversifying goals can help ease the transition from one achievement to the next.”

Oliver smiled, appreciating the support. “Exactly, Sara. And creating a sequence of goals can also help. It’s about having a plan for what comes next, so the end of one goal feels like a stepping stone rather than a dead end.”

Sebastian leaned back, his professional demeanor slipping into a more casual tone. “In my practice, I often talk about the need to address maladaptive coping mechanisms. When people focus too much on a single goal, they might develop unhealthy ways of dealing with stress or setbacks.”

“Like cognitive dissonance,” Oliver interjected. “When their reality doesn’t match their expectations, it can create a lot of inner conflict.”

“Precisely,” Sebastian agreed. “And it’s also about exploring the transference dynamics in their relationships. How they project their unmet expectations onto others can complicate their emotional landscape.”

Sid, who had been listening intently, nodded. “That’s why it’s crucial to pause and reflect after achieving a goal. To take stock of what you’ve learned and how you’ve grown. It helps bridge the gap between past achievements and future aspirations.”

Sara leaned forward, her eyes bright with enthusiasm. “And let’s not forget about mentoring. Passing on what you’ve learned can give a sense of purpose and continuity. It makes the work feel lasting and impactful.”

Oliver turned to his grandfather, Sir Roderick Glossop, who had been quietly observing the discussion. “Grandpa, you’ve seen so many changes in psychiatric practices over the years. What do you think about all this?”

Sir Roderick, with a twinkle in his eye, replied, “Well, Oliver, it’s fascinating to see how concepts like mindfulness and neuroplasticity have become integral to modern psychology. In my day, we didn’t talk about the brain’s ability to reorganize itself as much. It’s refreshing to see how these new ideas can help people find balance and fulfillment after achieving their goals.”

The group fell into a comfortable silence, each lost in their thoughts. The afternoon sun cast a warm glow over Mango Meadows, and the air was filled with the gentle hum of conversations and the clinking of tea cups. It was a perfect setting for such a meaningful discussion, one that bridged generations and merged old wisdom with new insights.

As they sat there, basking in the shared understanding and mutual respect, it was clear that the journey of life, with all its ups and downs, was best navigated together. Whether through achieving goals or dealing with the aftermath, the support of family and friends made all the difference.