school friends

At the kaapi break I just flipped on the television and HumTum and a beautiful dialogue was on.”Jab log ek dusare se milthe hain us rishte ke ek kahani banti hai ” ie when people meet each other, their relationship becomes a story, yes, there is a beginning and there is an end, the distance traveled may vary coming to think of it, familiar stranger who walks the dog in the morning, the young college guy who races down the lane every night each of them there is a relationship that gets woven like a fabric of life.

Often I wondered, what would happen when people say beez saal baad. If I go by the Hindi movies, then it should be a unique “aa gale lag ja ”moment with a girl friend and “mujhe kshama karo mere majbhoori samjho” moment with someone who you have broken up.(would they hug each other? or make excuses)

After hibernating for   a long time I googled a friend  who was more than an acquaintance, he was a very good friend but all formalities maintained.  It was an icebreaker all over.   What do I talk about, he has travelled a different path. His milestones different from mine.

The bunch of friends with whom I used to hang out for hours at the college canteen and foyer we can’t have a decent conversation for more than 15mnts without running out topics now.

I remembered an old story from woman’Era where this girl who came from a conservative background, her classmates used to ridicule her and call her steel lotta, 15yrs later, the girls who were to have been sure successes are either married frumpy housewives, or middle level executives while this girl becomes a high flier. She turns up at the class re-union and dumps the steel tumbler at her tormentor.  The story used to make me wonder would people really carry venom for so long? Would success not bring about healing of those scars? Or if those scars exist is she really a success?

FB brought forth many such warm friends, some who have grown old with me some who have grown older with different experiences, some whose growth I read in the newspaper.

One classmate who has a public persona did not want to talk of the school that had nurtured us together, for the food given to her was all wrong. She wanted to talk family kids, cars and Europe holidays,

Another wanted to talk professional hierarchy and when I politely enquired after her family she was divorced.

Third gave up her career so she could speak, diapers, and batata wada only

Between these I was lost, I felt a little mundane too, no dashing careers, no flashy cars, Europe exists only in the atlas, batata wada’s are fattening and diapers are forgotten stories.

yet today when I met a friend after 30 long years,  the  barriers came up,  what would be the common ground, a 3yr shared memory of a 40yrs life time?

I learnt when rediscovering an old friend, that now 15yrs later  we break a lot of barriers, our milestones are the same,  they are written in different languages, we have come to terms with ourselves  no longer is the compulsion to conform.

I guess  hum chale, log jude, caravan bangaya.