To perfect Divahood.

The first time I noted this word DIVA it was in reference to Shobha De and she was a page 3 person, then called Shobha Kilchand, editor of a long forgotten film magazine, I think Stardust. Who read film magazines, we read The Illustrated Weekly (kindly turn a blind eye to the Filmfare between the sheets of the weekly.)

Since making it to the beauty department was kind of, dicey I opted for the beast department,(Its the beasts who are usually more popular) which meant, current events, politics was my forte, and the corollary drawn is I read the week—yeah I know Shobha De has a column there too. –didn’t I mention that I do not read brainless gossip even if week publishes it.

But just check this out, it not Siana who catches the fancy of the press, its shade less talented Sania. Kalpana Chawla had to get blown in the orbit to be noticed over Juhi Chawla! So somewhere we are talking the missing factor. The Diva factor.

So the next book to out sell – starry nights will be the –DIVA DIARY or D0-IT-YOURSELf  developing into a Diva guide, maybe STEP-BY-STEP  GUIDE TO DIVAHOOD.  In my mythical world I am an obscenely successful writer, but in the real world I’m too lazy to go meet the publisher. Here I am sharing bits and pieces of the book I am penning for Lakme

  1. Bathe everyday in India where the weather is sultry, twice a day is fine too. Use cologne that is not too loud or overpowering. – Sorry Lakme has pulled its soaps of the market; they had a great one called winter care.
  2. Take care of your hair—shampoo, regularly—Lakme shampoo’s are off the rack too
    • Take care that dandruff is not visible
    • Keep it well-combed and brushed.
  3. Men shave as often as required, maybe you would have to have an extra razor at office, the 5 O’clock shadow does look pathetic.
  4. Women if you are using make up keep it subtle.
  5. Manicure regularly. For men it is a personal choice, women opt for nail colours that suit your hands more than trendy ones unless your profession calls for it.  If men are prone to nail bed infection then use a nail varnish to protect your nails. Trimmed Nails are essential.  No matter what the Fashionista says.
  6. Nicotine stains are a definite no-no.
  7. Regular exercises are a must too.
  8. Make an appointment with the Lakme saloon for a make-over and grooming expertise. PS at the inner back cover of the book is the discount coupon

An ideal day in the DIVA DAIRY/ or any of the title we settle on

  • 108 suryanamskar’s facing east at daybreak.
  • 20mnts of TM or any other form of meditation.
  • Meticulous personal hygiene,
    • Basic skin care  –wash with Lakme fruit blast,
      • Tone with cold ice-cube
      • Moisturize with Lakme fruit moisturizer that compliments the face wash.
    • To choose the right product call in the Lakme saloon, or check it out
  • Check your appointments for the day, deciding on the goal, to achieve choose your look. From the Lakme colour ranges choose your base, and make-up that compliments your clothes and looks.
  • Have a heavy nutritious breakfast, and plan out your diet and water breaks. If you are not sure consult a dietician. But horse sense works the best. Listen to your body it will tell you what it needs.
  • After meal, rinse your mouth and drink a glass of water, this takes care of bad breath.
  • Ensure you sleep well.

A Diva’s handbag.

A diva has a handbag that is feminine and no-nonsense, some essentials in the handbag:

  • Wallet
    • Some identification
    • Emergency cash
    • Credit/debit card
    • License
    • Keys
      • Office
      • Home
      • Vehicle
      • Cell phone – note the emergency numbers,
      • Sunglasses
      • Lakme sun protection.
      • Cosmetics – keep this in one pouch
        • Hand sanitizer
        • Comb
        • Lipstick
        • Purse perfume
        • Business
          • Note pad/organizer
          • Pen
          • Business cards
          • Miscellanea
            • Emergency prescription
            • Aspirin
            • Sanitary pad/tampons
            • Band-aid
            • Bottle of water.
            • One emergency shopping bag.
            • Those prone to acne need to carry a pony tail holder/headband and acne cleansing pads.

Now I can blissfully dream of displacing Shobha De in various news paper columns, Karan Johar talk shows. I am satiated with the confidence that the viewers will get more substance after all I’ m shobha’s height, Tun Tun‘s weight with Rekha’s look. Manish malhotra will not have to slice his clothes they would anyway be minuscule on me. Yahoo—what blissful thoughts—this is almost nirvana

Yours in Di’Vanity

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