Accepting compliments was always difficult for me, until did the Landmark curriculum for living.
My coach Gopal Sarma, kept telling us that we are reluctant to accept our own potential. Louise Hay puts it a little differently she tells us when we accept compliments we are reminded that others see us through different eyes.
We are willing to accept criticism and react to it, but when it comes to compliments we look for motives. They could be acknowledging a wise choice or applauding us for letting our light shine, yet we are compelled to find reasons why they are untrue. We call it modesty and iconize it.
If we could only visualize the energy of a compliment we would see that it is beautiful, shining, positive energy being sent from the giver. That energy if accepted graciously could brighten our personal energy field. Our gratitude then returns to the giver as warm fuzzy glowing energy completing an even circuit of good feelings.
When we reject a compliment what could have been a lovely exchange becomes awkward and uncomfortable turning it into a negative experience. A misplaced modesty ruins the joy of this connection with another person. But as we accept a compliment and still be modest by saying a simple thank you, it could still work.
If you ever doubt this energy then try to genuinely compliment others, just see how you feel. When the person smiles.
The best way to be kind to ourselves could be accepting and thanking the person who has a kind word for us.
In the Landmark, in Advance course, I also learnt that the biggest thing the people crave for is “Appreciation”, every person needs a word of appreciation to lift him/her up. So I guess, appreciation and compliment is same thing and though everybody needs it but accepting the word of appreciation/compliments is a difficult part for most of us, including me!
My personal experience says, it authentic appreciation/compliments work like a wonder in every person.
how true vignesh
In this fast paced life, where time is scarce. Someone taking time out to compliment for no reason leads to suspicion of ulterior motives.
Arpit when you say no reason do you mean no reason to compliment then why compliment?
What I feel is, that there is something that I appreciate about someone, but would not really bother to acknowledge it, that compliment has to be delivered and it makes a difference.
Though the initial response maybe skepticism, what the hell does this person want from me kinds.:)
well i always welcome compliments with joy But one should learn to differentiate one -genuine from the ”Amul makkahn” one given with some ulterior motive I do accept all compliments with same smile & a big thank you but make a note re the ”amul makkhan ;; one & treat it the way it should
🙂 yes, of course I guess when the compliment is false it rings in the other person’s voice and reflects in the eye.
A genuine compliment from me. Wonderful post and blog.
Glad to come across your blog.thanks to indiblogger.