A trip to the quiet, that is what I would gift to my soon to be married cousin. I would ensure, no civilization, no telephones, to television just a few weeks for the couple.
It would be a great time, for her and her new husband to set new goals for their life, discuss their vision and how to go there. Just to ensure they have a great future.
Statistics says maximum number marriages break within the first year. Of course they would,
Initially there is a goal, —identify the right partner.
Once that is achieved then comes the next goal – woe and get married.
Then the goal is to have a perfect wedding event.
To me one of the secrets of life is to enjoy the journey, and honeymoon is just symbolic of it.
We might figure that the car/train/flight journey was crazy. Yet, well nourished both hunger and romance wise, someday when you are older and amidst changing diapers you will wish, that you were back there, on this romantic crazy cruise. The stupid fights you had, the making up, though it did seem terminally injurious then, sometime latter it would be locker room share and laugh no, I mean water fountain share and laugh. The fact is simple it is not things, or destination that brings you joy. It is the experience of it. When you take along someone you love thats the joy, good and bad things happen to everybody. Its up to what you want to harness the joyous memories or the misery.
A young woman, newly wed, may find herself in the delightful position to do nothing without the company of her darling husband, she may indeed discover that she spends all her waking hours with her fellow to the exclusion of every other friend or family member. This is understandable but wholly unacceptable to society, so humdrum comes knocking by.
Couple of times I asked people what do they expect in a honeymoon. They say to have fun and great time. That goal is met too. but when they are back from the honeymoon it is ground reality, or the mundane humdrum of daily life with no interpersonal goal to work with. Every thing now becomes need based.
“You did this,”
“You did not do this.”
Well ladies and gentlemen the honeymoon is over. And the marriage begins.
It is never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It’s always seventy-thirty or sixty forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Some works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly.
Like Tom Robbins put it,when we are incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. After a few years or so of the relationship, we find that we are always looking for that somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or few months, of a relationship we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners, and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on—polygamy ad infinitum—until we take responsibility for ourselves, our relationships and fulfilment. It would mean having something to fulfil that would mean re-examine your goals. nobody can provide fulfilment for us, to expect so, is a dangerous delusion that programs the failure of the relationship.
When people fall in love its with the perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. That’s easy to do, love the wonderful parts of another person. But can we accept the flaws? Can we look at our partners faults and honestly say.”i can work around that.” Marriage begins when we can stop expecting people to be perfect and we can like people for just who they are.
A journey is like a marriage, the certain way to be wrong is to think you control it, just soak in the environment and build up the pleasant memory bank.
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