Every Saturday the alumni of Landmark meet at Carasid. We emphasize on one distinction and share our experiences
Just then Rahim walked in with a box of from Carasid that had to be delivered. He said they had eggs in them and Sunil got upset since it was the month of shravan, once we assured Sunil that it was no more shravan he was at peace too.
But that got us to discussing the design of upset.
At the end of the day why are we upset?
We are upset because something has not gone the way we would like it go.
When you look at any upset it has three components,
- A thwarted intention
- An unfulfilled expectation
- Incomplete communication.
In this scenario, Sunil’s intention was his friends could enjoy a good pastry despite of shravan when eggs are not consumed. His intention was thwarted, His expectation of the staff understanding the importance of eggless, packing it was not met, in addition to it his expectation of having delivered pastries despite of shravan was threatened to be upset. All this was due to a lack of complete communication that the pastries had to be eggless.
Despite of our understanding this design we still get upset. This is simply because we work from the space that “I have communicated completely and effectively” we do not bother to confirm if it has landed completely in the way that it was meant.
The human design is such that it responds, immediately, fight or flight, so we respond to the situation on basis on a communication which we receive and filter through our listening. One major point that we miss is “what is not communicated does not exist.”
http://successnet.org/cms/productivity-organization/top-ten-ways-to-create-breakthroughs
Hmmm… me thinks it is okay to be upset. It gives me a possibility of being – to know that I am upset as an when I am upset.
🙂 of course, it is a great possibility of being.