The wisdom of surrender,
While recovering from a Burn accident, I hated it, two drips and a side burnt meant I had to depend on my niece and mother for everything. Not only did I hate it, it also made me angry. When I got better I came home, better was not much better, I still had to have help to sit up
At night my husband would gently tuck me, I would get furious because I was one of those people who like to sleep without a bed sheet, but then I realized the warmth of blanket on my feet kept gave me a sense of security and I slept well through the night. In the morning I realized I was on my path to recovery only because of the help and care I got, from sister-in-law who took charge of my kids, my niece who used to care for my wounds, my mother who cared my physical and mental health the sense of gratitude that followed that acceptance was overwhelming and my recovery after that was amazing.
I learnt was relying on others was okay, and the wisdom of surrender was simple.
I took great pride in my self-sufficiency; I like being responsible for taking care of myself and pulling my own weight in the world. This can be so challenging in situations where I had to rely on someone else, like it happened to me during my burns, I had to accept that my sister-in-law would take care of my children as good as I did if not better, it may not be my way but the care was not compromised on. When my kids were born, I needed Lakshmamma to help me out, now I realize I need support to do the daily nitty-gritty details of the house.
Believe me it was an effort to let go that I had to be superwoman and my way was the highway.
What did happen in my space then was I had to accept the situation fully as it was. My recovery path was to start doing things at a pace that was much slower than my usual pace. Many a times I made things by lapsing into feelings of uselessness. That kind of prolonged my dependency.
To acknowledge dependency meant to practice acceptance and humility. The ego resisted this, imagine “I” having to ask for help it was humiliating to the ego, but with acceptance I figured I moved into the deeper realm of the soul. As accepted needing others and allowing those to help me there came a realization that I was not on my own in the world. This did make me vulnerable, yet at the same time secure, and connected. With this realization the greatest shift has been when I extend help it is no more with arrogant superiority, but with there is a gratitude for the other person for giving that space to contribute.
It took enormous strength to surrender to my own helplessness and accept that I like every other human being have limitations.
I thank the universe for this lesson. For the gifts of surrender are numerous. I discovered humility, gratitude and a deepening understanding of the human experience that enables me to be that much more compassionate and surrendered in the world.
The wisdom of surrender,