No wrong response

right and wrongWhen I was a little girl, everything in the world fell into either of these two categories: wrong or right. Black or white. Now that I am an adult, I have put childish things aside and now I know that some things fall into wrong and some things fall into right. Some things are categorized as black and some things are categorized as white. But most things in the world aren’t either! Most things in the world aren’t black, aren’t white, aren’t wrong, aren’t right, but most of everything is just different. And now I know that there’s nothing wrong with different, and that we can let things be different, we don’t have to try and make them black or white, we can just let them be grey. And when I was a child, I thought that God was the God who only saw black and white. Now that I am no longer a child, I can see, that God is the God who can see the black and the white and the grey, too, and He dances on the grey! Grey is okay.”

― C. JoyBell C.

Just the other day, a reiki practioner and I were having lunch. Now this person is someone who practises reiki conducts reiki sessions, does handwriting analysis creates personalized yantra. Has been brought up in an ashram lives with a man who is an ordained disciple in one of the ashrams etc.  We were joined by another person, who is a theatre art teacher at Auroville. During the conversation, the Aurovillite told the Rieki Practitioner, don’t bother all this is “intellectual stuff.”

The Rieki practitioner got offended that the Aurovillite said so, for her it was as he was calling her dumb. While from his point of view, she was in a state that was above the intellect, the state of spirituality so the mundane should not bother her.—this is a normal Auroville outlook.

Actually neither is right nor is either wrong, they are but response that have come with their individual experiences. Experience is what largely determines our experience, it’s only when we are caught off guard by the spontaneity of existence that we are most apt to respond authentically even when our feelings do not correspond with those of the multitude. When we look back events that seem to arouse strong emotions with us are surprising in nature and they can be disquieting for it is in their aftermath that we discover how proudly our histories have shaped us. The differences that divide us from peers are highlighted in reactions when these diverge from the mainstream, and this can be highly upsetting because it forces us to confront the uniqueness of our lives.

Many a times, we dismiss our feelings as irrational or incorrect, particularly when our responses to unexpected news or startling ideas are not always same as those of that of people around us.  Yet our reactions and thinking are sculpted into patterns largely by our experiences, and our perceptions to these experiences. There is no reason to believe that one person’s reaction to a particular even is somehow more valid than another’s. How we respond to the constant change taking place in the world around is a product of our history a testament to our individuality and a part of the healing process allows us to address key elements of our past in context we can grasp the present.

Our lives pivotal events provide us a way to define ourselves as an unique matchless being, so do the events in another’s life, if we can put aside the judgements both about ourselves and others, we can get an insight into our distinct mode of interpreting the world. All we need to is internalize our feelings without categorizing them or evaluating them as good, bad or ugly.

After all cultural, sociological, spiritual and familial differences can cause two people to interpret a single event in widely dissimilar ways. Examining our responses outside of the context provided by others actually show us, that our individual emotional complexity is something to valued for it has made us who we are today.

“So far, about morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.”
― Ernest HemingwayDeath in the Afternoon

2 Replies to “No wrong response”

  1. As there is duality in nature, every being is inherently live with contradictions with paradoxes all around him/her. Naturally there would be views and actions that are distasteful. What required is tolerance and appreciation of the contra-views. You have analyzed a simple incident so beautifully and analytically.

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