my sister told me to do something, a while later she told me something else, my attitude was, “what the hell! Who is she to tell me what to do” after that every time she told me something I strove do the exact opposite. Until I was listening to patients sharing, at that point it occurred to me, what the hell, I have give Thai the drivers seat and have become the passenger.
Another time I was cleaning the house, and I was, no I stand corrected I am unable to clear clutter that made me cranky and overwhelmed, I did the one thing I could that is I became an ostrich and shut a roomful of clutter out of sight. Again I had become a passenger letting the clutter, no more precisely my feeling of being overwhelmed drive.
Its rather quite easy to go through this fast paced world feeling as if we are being dragged through our weeks on the back of a horse. For a time it is an exhilarating experience to go from one thing to the other until we end up home in the evening with just enough time to unwind and sleep, with the new dawn repeating the wild ride over again. But after a while, it becomes exhausting and without realizing it we have let the schedule drive as we take the passenger seat.
The entire packed schedule and obligations seem to rob us of a certain degree of spontaneity, and the ability to look at the bigger picture of our lives. When we do look at the larger picture we know if we are on track or if we are running a runaway train. It allows or rather insists that we take responsibility for charting our own courses in life. when I had to make this transition and take the decision, it was very different from the social and familial expectations. I was and am in an uncomfortable position but I am peace because I am driving instead of the social, or family dictate giving me the road map; to a destination that I do not want to go.
But like it happened when we travelled by road to Hyderabad, we got our routes mixed up, we had to take a break, check the routes again and then make our way. It happens in life too, may be we need to step back take a deep breathe and contemplate a while remember where we need to go and drive there at our speed, pace and on our track.