Overthrowing the tyranny of ‘OR’

With Karthiga Reddy.

Yes, its about Sheroes again, there was something exclusive about Karthiga Reddy like the Lady herself.

First and foremost she was exceeding feminine,  I could well see her draped in a saree, still meaning business.  she came across as a person who was friendly, and let things flow while keeping track very discreetly that the flow went her way.

She shared her journey, and gave us a take away the temptation of having to take notes was overpowering.

I am the fifth daughter in a joint family so I could empathize with her being the second.

Her family not having a problem with doing masters in the US as along as she went there after she got married, my contemporaries have faced that too.

Like most of us there were options that she had to face, either this or that, and she says many times we under estimate our power and get bullied by OR, when AND could work perfectly well, if we could think outside the box, or are willing to take that small risk. Things do work out they do have the tendency to work out if we will it to happen so.

Yes, that would mean putting your cards on the table and negotiating the curve. It would mean  making your spouse your partner in the true sense, they will be willing to chip in or help you work options. – I know this now (i learnt it 20yrs after being married, the last four years have been peaceful.) but I wish I had taken the risk of moving on from traditional Indian family hierarchy to partnership earlier.

The same goes for our support system. We may need to look beyond the traditional patterns.

What I really like about Karthiga’s  input that she honest that gender issues were there. she was honest about having to work to break it but more importantly she felt we as women had a certain behaviour pattern.

• We undervalue ourselves—if a profile required 10 qualities and we had six of them, we would tell ourselves, oh! I am 4 short, while a man would tell himself I satisfy 4 so its great.
• We don’t ask – it turns out that whether woment want higher salaries, or more help at home, women often find it hard to ask. Sometimes we do not know that change is possible, sometimes we are scared that we would damage relationships. Sometimes we don’t ask because we have learnt that society can react badly to women asserting their own needs and desires.

The biggest take away she gave us, to find our passion, we had to use the tag line at facebook—what would you do if you were not scared?

Go ahead and ask your self what would you do if were not scared the answer might only be surprising but it might be a revealation.