“Define your uniqueness.
Define your greatness.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita
Well, every woman has something’s that she is passionate about things that make her who she is. After we cannot be neatly labelled and boxed. When I think of women, for that matter even men I think of the six blind men of hindoostan, who felt an elephant and perceived what it is like.
If you ask to define my uniqueness or greatness, I guess it the fact that I am ordinary, mundane with mundane concerns of life, like how do balance my work space with family, how do I take that break without feeling guilty of letting my family fend for themselves.
All my life was about being accepted; I don’t belong seemed to be an anthem created for me, so I did everything that I could do to belong. I did not like how people defined and labelled me, and then I worked on my values, embraced and practised values that I wanted to be associated with it so that I could belong.
Then one fine day, it occurred to me “what the hell, I don’t belong so this allows me to create the space where I belong.” This awareness was very liberating. I had strengths, but it was not those strengths that defined me, it was what I did with them. The makeover I had with each great challenge in my life, be it the accident that smashed my ankle, be it the crab that called, be it the fire that tried to devour me, I just discovered a different tribe that I could belong. A new tribe that would take me in.
But more importantly I realized how important it was to be an enthusiast in life, so that defines me now, if I am interested in something, no matter what it is, I go at it full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love and am absolutely passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good, hot is not good either white hot and passionate is the only thing to be. Living each moment just for that moment, in totality.
Coming back to defining my self—here is something expresses exactly what I think and feel–
“Interesting that the book used the word define.
That’s just what I’ve been thinking about.
This business of defining who you are
and what you are
and where you are headed-
it’s all harder than I thought it would be.
I thought that this stuff
I thought that life
and I guess I thought
I’d drift right along,
like a leaf on a river,
flowing with the current
to wherever the river wanted to go.”
― Kelly Bingham, Formerly Shark Girl
If you insist, what defines, me is my flow, like a river. Always flowing but always different, sometimes walking steadily along, and sometimes surging over rapids, sometimes meandering with hardly visible movements, there times when I gurgle with pleasure, sometimes I sparkle brilliant in the sun, sometimes, lazy, static, inviting.
Do I change like the river? Widening and deepening, eddying back on myself, sometimes bursting my banks when there is too much life in me, sometimes dried up from lack of rain. There are times that I wonder if will grow and deepen or just stagnate and become an arid river? Will I let the dam that society builds for me confine me so that I flow the way they deem it right,
So far I flow free, coursing my way through land and ploughing a valley of my own.