Like water off a ducks back.
“You are like that”
“You are unorganized” how many of these epithets have heard. And what I have heard has stayed with hurting me and creating that sense of worthlessness. I know it important not let it affect us, but learn that is one of the most difficult challenges that I face.
Particularly when I was younger and more sensitive, I used to take so much of this to heart, brood over it until the poison altered me within. The remnant of the poison still exists. When these criticisms, come from different people, it could be for different reason I would feel attacked from all directions and recovery was very difficult. I developed a scar called sarcasm. I learnt methods to stop myself from speaking and acting my truth, so much so I forgotten my truth.
It was only when I was observing the ducks, and the old quote on water on duck’s back came to me, I realized what it meant.
Now at 50 I realize that attacks and criticism are more about the person who delivering them, and how they feel about themselves than us. in trying to adjust myself to other’s energy I realized I was losing in touch with my own core. What I learnt post Landmark forum education, and hypnotherapy is these slings and arrows offered me the opportunity to strengthen my own core sense of self and to learn to dodge and deflect other people’s misdirected negativity. The more I did this, the more I was able to discern what belonged to me and what belonged to other people. With practise I could regain my energy integrity by refusing to serve as a target for the disowned anger and frustration of the people around me.
I know criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain the human body. it calls attention to the development of an unhealthy state of things. If heeded in time, danger maybe averted. If suppressed a fatal distemper may develop.
Eventually I may be able to hear the feedback that others have to offer taking in anything that might actually be constructive and release the irrelevant. But first step though was and is, to tend to myself with compassion by recognizing that I cannot take something in from outside without hurting myself, this is where I had to be a duck shaking it off and letting it roll off my back as I continued my way in the world.
Eventually, we will be able to hear the feedback that others have to offer, taking in anything that might actually be constructive, and releasing that which has nothing to do with us. First, though, we tend ourselves compassionately by recognizing when we can’t take something in from the outside without hurting ourselves. This is when we make like a duck, shaking it off and letting it roll off our back as we continue our way in the world.