Opening the channel of communication.
I remember this story about the Buddha,a couple visited him, they raved, ranted, and cursed, but the Buddha was not effected, his followers were. It happened again, when the disciples of Buddha asked him, why did he not do anything to stop them.
The Buddha replied,”What would you do if someone got you a gift that you did not want?”
“I would not accept it,”
“That is exactly what I have done.”
Have you dealt with people; do you have people in your space you rather not interact with?
As we journey through life, we meet lot of people, some very comfortable to converse with, some very knowledgeable, some very judgemental and very opiniated. When people who affect me negatively appear in my space, it is rather difficult. For while I might be able to put up with it, there are times when I walk away, but there are times when I have put up with things but somewhere the negativity remains. There are times when I have lost my temper. But realize that the first step dealing with such people is to stay calm. Particularly if we plan to confront them.
There was this person in my personal space, who would forever be condescending and talk to me like I was a moronic. She called me a failure as a mother, called my daughter mentally retarded, and each time my instinct would be address the issue, but my mother would send me signals to requesting me to keep quiet, finally when my tolerance could not take it anymore I just burst out at the proverbial straw.
Avoiding this person is neither possible, nor in the best interest, this situation could also happen occur with people who we live with or work together with. Steering clear of them is a source of stress and anxiety again if they are part of the family or social network. I figured the best way to deal with this address the problem. Unfortunately their actions affect my mood, even their presence is sufficient to achieve this. This is where my learning from Landmark Education forum helped me, having a direct open conversation with the person concerned. With this I might be able to shift their perceptions or maybe help them understand my point of view.
Many times when the relationship is tricky… though I have not tackled the trickest one yet I actually put it down on paper “what is that I want to achieve from this coversation” then what is that, that disturbs me, and then have the conversation so that there is no agitation. If we can find the bridge then it is great, if not we just move on life.