Sometime back someone told my mother, “if only your daughter would focus on one thing she would be a success.” I was quite put off by this. then came my students Ramleela performance, my husband said, “this was good, but you have done better.” Then my mother told me, “once you do well, then it becomes a strain, you have to keep doing better.” Was what that person said right,
I then came upon the next point, what is success, who defines my success. Like after that conversation with my mother, my husband told me, “don’t dwell on this, I am talking about the visual, but as experience, as a creative entity it is complete on its, so don’t bother with the post mortem. Of course technical glitches that were there need to be ironed out.”
What came across to me from these different conversation, is something that quite transformed my thinking, I just had to focus on my personal quest, and satisfaction and put in my best. Learn and experience this particular experience in totality.
My best was good enough because it came from and I am always good enough.
There are times when I have felt that my best was not good enough, but then I realize that each time I have delivered the best that I could at that time. This I realized held good for everyone. I cannot let someone else’s idea of best define me, like I cannot accept this person’s concept of success. I might not be able to deliver someone else’s idea of the best, but believe me it was such a relief the day I realized that the burden was not mine. I only needed to fulfil my own potential and as long as I remained true to that calling and did my best to fulfil my purpose, I didn’t need to expect anything more from myself.
me a lot, then my daughter bless her soul, told me, “Mama, why are letting a random person declare you a failure, as your daughters we know you are the best. You give us the gift of your trust and give us space.” That’s when I realized we are so into being crowned the best parent, best employee, whatever. What got short circuited in my great race for being the best, was my originality I was so busy trying to become someone else’s vision of success… after each of these conversation there would be a counter conversation saying, then don’t I need to improve, but as they told me in the Landmark curriculum for living, they also made us practise it, no we I did not need to improve, but I needed to transform after examining where the feeling of inadequacy came from, because wanting to be better than others was about my ego.
When I could let go of the tendency to hold myself to other’s standards I could let go the belief that I needed to compete and win, that let me function at my best. It allowed to push my abilities and move-on, there were lesser regrets and greater personal satisfaction.