When I was with the women’s cell and all through my practise I noticed that people stay stuck the place that they are in was actually pretty bad, yet they stayed stuck where they were.
Actually the fear they harboured was the fear of moving on. The pain was something familiar and it was the fear of the unknown that kept them where there were. I realized this only when I went through the same process.
Pain is a great teacher in life, but the greatest lesson it teaches is the importance of moving on. Not being stuck is the greatest challenge.
In the grand cycle of life pain come and goes, when it does it come it is a great teacher, teaching us to value things. But when we do get stuck in our pain it becomes detrimental to our well-being and development. We can actually notice that we begin to close-off, feel resentful, heavy hearted or that we try very hard to avoid being hurt again that is a part of us telling us that we are still stuck in the pain.
As to why we get stuck in our pain there could be many reasons. As children we let the experience move through us, we cry or throw a tantrum and the process would wash us clean leaving us open and available to new experiences. But with age we look at these an inappropriate so we develop coping strategies, to deal with discomfort. We may learn to stuff our feelings down or run away from them. We decide that being aloof, treading the known path will keep us safe from heartbreak, rejection or failure.
The first time we use this defence mechanism is when the part of us remains unhealed. This is the creation of the inner child. The pain may be so familiar that we are unsure how to handle life without it. But longer we hold on to it, we are expending a lot of energy that could go into making our life experiences more positive.
When you notice that you are continually connecting with the same familiar patterns of pain, consider healing the inner child, that will allow you embrace your feeling and let go of the hurt.
At the end of the day what does getting ‘stuck’ mean? It just means I should make some decision, I should do something enormous, but I can’t do anything. I can’t stand my life and I can’t change it. Think again, maybe it is not an enormous thing, maybe it doing one small thing and then another small things, and then another small thing. “