Disarming the Know-it-all.
My husband’s Guruji was explaining something, I kind of butt in to add on or comment or god knows what, that I have forgotten but what stayed with me was the feeling that I am becoming an God Damn Know All . I felt so ashamed of myself. that I tried to figure what is that triggered me… to but in so unceremoniously the answer that came to was I wanted an acknowledgement, somewhere I was dealing with low self esteem.
Then I realized that it was the same with most know-it- all, that they are stuck in a pattern actually have feelings of low self worth. We have all encountered a person in our lives who can accurately be referred to as a know it all. This person seems to know everything that gets brought up and tends to dominate the conversation. They don’t take well to questions and they have a hard time ever admitting that they were wrong.
I realized that when I became a know-all, there was this tendency to put myself in the centre of attention; it must have been inevitably tiring for others because there would have been no shared energy between us. Attention and respect are probably the two things we all long for, and a know- all more so because a know-all has learnt that that way the needs are met. Overtime the pattern gets stuck. Despite the fact the somewhere it might no longer be working. The role listening, being receptive or learning something could be rather frightening because it is something new and unfamiliar.
On one hand there is this overwhelming need to avoid this person all together because it is draining to be around him/her on the other hand there is compassion that the persons insecurity demands. Maybe if we come from a place of kindness we can attempt to bridge the gap.