Breaking family cycles is the start of change.
Dealing with family patterns I realized is the important work during healing be itself or someone’s it is also the hardest.
Though we tend to believe that in leaving our childhood homes and embarking upon the journey of adulthood we have effectively removed ourselves from the harmful and self perpetuating familial patterns yet when we do look at things from outside our behaviour patterns and beliefs are identical to those impressed on us by our parents, grandparents and the generations that have preceded them particularly the patterns of having the fear of not having enough, not showing affection, being secretive yet all these pass from one generation to the other.
These negative patterns can be broken it would mean identifying them and then transforming them through conscious awareness. The imbibing of these patterns happens very subtly while we watch our primary care givers reactions and handling of us, these becomes the way take in and respond to information and situation. It becomes the basis for our handling ourselves. But the equation between the secondary care giver and the primary care giver decides our interaction and presentation with the outer world.
Our belief systems which dictate our behaviour and attitude are handed to us over time, it is something that we grow into as our needs and goals develop and change. Even when we find a system of beliefs that works for us, we hone and fine-tune it, working our way deeper and deeper into its essential truth. Everything we perceive with our senses goes into our personal data bank and helps us to create the belief system that we hold now. Nothing is lost or forgotten in our lives.
We have the choice we don’t have to remain victims of our conditioning however. We can choose for ourselves what we believe or don’t believe, what we desire and don’t desire. We can define our own parameters. Once we do that we can consciously transform to our true north.
What I learnt through hypnotherapy and landmark forum was despite of the effects of family cycles, which are established through modes of living and a reflection of strife that our ancestors were forced to endure; it is possible to liberate ourselves from the effects of family history. The will to this divest ourselves may come as an epiphany but it will, I kind of liken to a curse that has finished its potency and wants to leave our space. Sometimes it emerges as an understanding of the negativity that has affected us and that in it gives us the ability to evolve as individuals. There are times when we have to step out and question the impact of the family patterns, irrational behaviour and emotional stiltedness effect us. It is only when we understand how the family cycles having influenced and what we can do to gain freedom from those patterns.
For a long time I confused real magic with magical thinking. Real magic I realise is not a trick, and it transforms our lives. Magical thinking is denial. Real magic happens when we break old belief patters and have the courage to employ native laws of the universe.