The Reaction reason.

violet flameAnvi was part of the forum, as she was dealing with tobacco issues. As the conversations and counselling went out, what appeared in her space was as child she and two of her male cousins had played havoc in a room, they had actually ripped a pillow open. Her grandfather entered the room, saw the mess he hauled the boys whacked them till they could park their backside without wincing. He left Anvi alone.

5yr. Old anvi then figured that her grandfather didn’t even think she was worth whacking. The inner child was formed and she went on taking on masculine traits. Of course it was handled with lot of therapy, family constellation.* etc.

What stayed with me, is a decision and reasoning behind it. she has lived with that agony for the seventeen years of her life….

Anvi was a little girl, but so many times as adults we have done this. attaching meaning to events in our lives. The mind only acknowledges the known. So many times pain is also pleasure because it is known.  Coming back, we have this tendency ot assign meaning to our experiences – this could pleasant or distressing. This actually determines the quality of our lives. What we imagine events to mean will colour the way we feel about ourselves, abou the people in our lves and about the world at large.

It’s as if, I have diagnosed Simi as being very self centered, and everything she says, I would reframe and re-intepret until it suited my perception of Simi. Its not a compromise of if life hands you a lemon make lemonade. It is okay this is not to be… then what is to be… does that what is to be excite me enough? And just move along.

If a friends stands up for lunch instead of throwing a tantrum intellectually thank the universe for the “alone time” that has been handed to you and get on with the next task on your todo list.

When we sit up and notice what we have been doing its amazing the kind of stories we have told ourselves and the kind of messages that we have fed ourselves with.

One way of sorting that worked for me is morning pages as soon as I wake up I write a page of without thinking or analysing as the words float in and out lot of times it does not make sense but many a times I see recognizable patterns.

About family constellation it is a three dimensional group process that has the power to shift generations of suffering and unhappiness. This is a work that is founded by Bert Hollinger; many of us unconsciously take on destructive familial patterns of anxiety, depression, anger, guilt loneliness , alcoholism and even illness as a way of belonging in our families. Bonded by a deep love, a child often sacrifices his won best interests in a vain attempt to ease the suffering of a parent or other family members. This allows us to break these patterns so that we gain an insight that can be life changing.

2 Replies to “The Reaction reason.”

  1. Hi Parwati,

    I am from Blog Feed website. The main reason I am posting this is to make your aware about our website http://blogfeed.in

    The major problem all Site Owners from India are facing today is lack of Traffic and Exposure. This same issue was faced by me over and over whenever I started a new blog. And I have to admit it was heartbreaking and ultimately I used to get depressed. On deep analysis on Google I found out that Most of the new bloggers quit blogging within a year of start due to lack of Traffic and Brand awareness. So I decided to make a platform for Blogger like us to Share our Content with rest of world and drive targeted traffic. So, I created a website http://blogfeed.in to overcome the break point for Indian Bloggers.

    Trough Blog Feed, you can get traffic and visibility without spending a single penny.Blog Feed helps Indian Bloggers and Website owner get targeted visitors from India. Blog Feed is completely free website.

    You can submit content of your blog on our website.

    Benefits you’ll get:

    1) Post Sharing over Internet resulting quick indexing by Google.
    2) You’ll get Do_follow backlink from our website.
    3) If your articles gets on our Homepage, You’ll get visitors from our website.

    Things you needs to know is that we don’t promote Adult, Nudity and Gambling stuffs.

    Catch You on Our Website Blog Feed.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s