What is the one passion that I would like to restart in my life again….?
With New Year round the corner maybe this is a good question to ask. Somewhere the object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul, a new nose, an new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular a particular man made New Year resolution, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly nothing effective.
The lost passion that I am looking for is passion itself. Being free in wildness, being a wanderess, a drop of free water. Not knowing anything about borders and not caring for rules or customs. Time should not be something to fight against, my life should flow clean, with passion like fresh water.
Currently I am experiencing the quiet sense of something lost, I spend so much time reacting, responding to everyone else that my life has no direction. Other people’s lives, problems and wants set the course of my life. Once I realize it was okay for to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things are beginning to take place in my life. I have quit weeping; by the way weeping is not the same thing as crying. It takes your whole body to weep and when it’s over you feel like you do not have any bones to hold you up.
Starting afresh can be the scariest thing in the entire world, whether it is leaving a lover, a school, a team, a friend, or anything else that feels like a core part of our identity but the gut tells us, that something here is not right or safe, maybe we should listen and trust that voice.
Though rebuilding ourselves is hard, particularly when we have to do so piece, by piece with no instruction book, somewhere we are clueless as where the important bits are supposed to go. The good news is our life is just a story. If we do not like the direction it’s going, we can change. Rewrite it. When we rewrite a sentence we erase and start over again until we get it right. Yes it’s a little more complicated with a life, but the essential principle is the same. And remember, we are not ever to let anyone tell us that our revisions are not the truth.“
Somewhere along the way, I have become a living dead. The passion lies within me, sleeping…waiting… And though unwanted…unbidden…it will stir..open its jaws and howl. It speaks to me…guides me…even rules me but I have not bothered to obey, now, I am letting it regain power and rule, I give myself no choice but to obey.
I’m not in search of sanctity, sacredness, purity, these are probably things found after this life, but in this life I search to be completely human: to give, to take, to laugh to get lost, to be found, to dance, to love and to lust.
Passion sets us free.. When we truly we sing ourselves free, when we truly dance we dance ourselves free, when we walk in the mountains or swim in the sea we set ourselves free.
I realize getting lost is just another way of saying going exploring and passion has little to do with euphoria and everything to do with patience. It is about feeling good, it is about endurance. Like patience passion comes from the same Latin root: pati it does not mean to exuberance it means to suffer
Right now I see a bridge of silver wings that stretches from the dead ashes of an unforgiving nightmare, to the jewelled vision of a new life. At the end of the souls reconstructed with faith transform agony into peace.