Bring up Bachelors…
‘Mom! Where are my fresh socks?’
‘Didi! Why didn’t you scrub my shirt’s collar? It’s still grimy!’
‘Dad! If you see mom ask her to keep my football uniform ready, I need it tomorrow!’
#ShareTheLoad the conversations quotes above have never happened in my house. be at my parents or at my in-laws, that was their parenting style.
There is a huge attitudinal issue though, when my husband helps his mother he is being a good son, but if helps me he is being henpecked. These are meant to be casual funny jokes but they talk of social system.
Ariel and BlogAdda decides not shift this prejuidice to the next generation. Rest assured the we are not going to. If I go by the issues that come up during counselling, the greatest issue that kids today face when they go out in the world is that there is no magic elf who comes in the evening and tides up the house they have to do it themselves. Specially in the Urban areas today, getting a domestic help is quite maddening. It is so lurcrative that we have online websites that offer to provide domestic help.
How do we ensure that the prejudice is not transferred to the next generation. Lf we were deal with this as a social pathology, we are looking at the causative factors,
- Inherited social work delegations.
- The emotional connect to the act, of house work-
- The economic transaction for the act.
- Finally redefining the roles in the family structure.
Girls are weighed down by restriction, boys with demands both are equally harmful disciplines. The change has slowly begun To quote Gloria Steinem, we have begun to raise our daughters more like sons, but few have the courage to raise our sons more like daughters.
When we look at inherent social work delegations the hunter- provider and nurturer- home maker pictures begin to merge, this is consistently re-enforced by the media presentation. Lets,start with the media addressing the actual problem that we have to face in day to day life of contemporary India.
If the serial could look at this “laundry has to be,”àI do not have the time to do it à what is the solution that might be more proactive in changing a mindset.
- Husband do the laundry – will not
- Get a washing machine, — mother in law does not permit.
- Outsource it to a laundry.
Do we see that in the serials? Still better how about having the young couple discussing that they need to contribute equally, so they decide to buy a washing machine?
somehow we limit ourselves to washing the clothes but laundry involves, more it involves–drying it, then ironing it and placing it in its designated place. Now the real issue emerges.how about showing a serial where each person takes the responsibility managing their clothes? While we grew up it was very simple we washed out clothes when took bath and dried out, since I am lazy I picked it off the line the next day.
Helping in the house work may not yet be a part of the Indian man’s psyche maybe we can start off, with requesting him to load the washing machine, do it for 21 days it takes 21 days for a new habit to be created. The son sees the father and learns so does the daughter by the way.
If the mother is a multitasking superwoman, the daughter feels compelled to be so, the power equation immediately comes to play.
Since right now we are working from a point of view that the woman is oppressed, it is for her to take stalk, is she really what is the pay off, and how will she get out of it.
“I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.”
Parwatisingari's Weblog 