“They say I should stay away from you,” I said. “They said you’re not good for me.”
“I’m not,” he said with a wicked smile, “But doesn’t that make it even more fun?”
― Kassandra Cross, Black Magic: New Adult Witchcraft Paranormal Suspence Romance
Ever thought what this being good for some one or being bad for some is all about. Quite often then not I think it more the fear of the umbilical cord cutting, suddenly from supreme reigning who is all knowing the mother’s knowledge bank gets questioned.
Sometimes we fear, that out child might grow beyond us go to another level, and may not be able to accept us, the child might reject us.
There such funny notions and quirks that come to play, like this mother who did not want her daughter to fraternize with her niece because the niece wore lace bra’s and every one knew that girls who wore lace bra’s before marriage were of questionable morality. Today the daughter, and niece are both in their fifties, yet the mother tells her daughter,”Why do you have spend so much of time in conversation with her, you know she is a bad influence.”
When the child gets the first friend from outside the closed circle, the child actually invites another energy, another thought process, and as long as we equip the child with right values the child should do fine.
I know one mother, who insisted that her child was good, and brought up, “properly” but it was the influence of the others he associated with that made him misbehave, the bottom line was,” my book is not botched.”
Probably a more interested question to ask is why did the child choose this friend?
Why does this particular question bother me?
Why does this thinking pattern upset me?
It used to bother me, that every time there was TV sit-com on my daughter would pick up the most moronic character to empathize with, and it would upset me no end. the entire thing surfaced a day ago when someone told me, that I was “wile, unfunny and not in the least bit clever” that was when I caught myself, that was my inner child, being less intelligent… and hey presto the inner child popped, not being good enough…. most mothers are probably dealing with the same issue, though we all wrap in up in our protective, righteous or moralistic wrappers,
Not that the monsters of peer pressure and teenage experimenting does not exist, not that negative influence is not around, but it may not be as big a bogey as we feel. Since most of us feel only when the child thinks differently from us. we have to find the other to blame.
I remember telling an aunt this, if anyone says, I am responsible for her child’s bad behaviour I would thank her, because, no mother accepts that her child is easily influenced, if I can get someone to choose something over the strong upbringing she has given that makes me so much more powerful!!
― Shannon L. Alder
Ps— i donot know why this piece insists on being written. Everyone is welcome to take potshots.