Mama’s guide to difference between sharing and giving.

It is joy of giving week Mama shares the small but import difference between giving and sharing

Without really thinking about it the word give always meant to put into possession of another for his or her use, As an intransitive verb it meant to make gifts or presents,

When I heard of this day I think instituted in 2007  if I am not mistaken, I thought it was a good idea, Goonj collecting discarded clothes, giving gifts to strangers, 5 star hotels sharing their buffet with the underprivileged it all seemed so wonderful, the joy of giving.

But now I see, we have a loud crass RJ asking “aap ka, sabse whatever moment of sharing” we had the bubblegum generation talking about sharing biscuits with a little girl who came to buy gulab jamoons and not having enough money. The CSR’s going wild with oh! We do our community bit during Daan Utsav. We have financially élite school kids giving gifts to the municipal schools suddenly the thing is so ugly.

Now we have “poster competitions” to forge the joy of giving, can we go past these… please…  I had this niggling notion that giving came from a space of superiority that is a feeling of “bestowing” while sharing came from a more democratic space. It brought me round to actually wondering what this sharing and giving was all about…

When in doubt always refer to the higher authority, so Google-Mata here we come.

Once I faced that I was being judgmental, and actually bothered to reflect about it, here is what came to me, that people could either share from their abundance or give from their needs. Now though this did pop up to me, it made realize that both were acts of bestowing there was a difference between giving and sharing. People shared with committment, but not giving.

We grew up believing ,if we saw a lack we had to fill it,  others would not notice it, as we were  to fill the gap.  somewhere deep within us was the solution to the problem, there are times when I wonder if we are the way we are because of why we are…I then give up on this reflection because it is beyond my cerebral grey matter or the cardiac lavender matter. I do not know if this comes from the grey space or the lavender space.

Once we have diagnosed the gap or the need, I think we react either by sharing or giving.

Sharing is giving a part of  something to another, while giving is transferring possession of something to another that is hand over.

Sharing at one level is an equalizer, like I have one apple, you need one apple, I give you half my apple so both us have part. But when it comes to gives, I give the entire apple that would mean I forgo the apple, so that you could have it. When I share part of the gift remains with me, while when I transfer the transfer is complete. This difference though sounds subtle it is definitely huge, because it comes from two radically different heart attitudes.

This is something I learnt from my mother, she would do send out lunch to the sick relative in the hospital simply because there was a gap, and we have had really distant relatives, or relatives of relatives popping in. she didn’t think she was being charitable.

Of course, it was never “I have extra food, take what I am not using,” it was always, “okay, you need food, here it is.” somehow nature always ensured that there was abundance.

There was no thoughts like, ”If I give this where will the next one come from,” or “you need this more than me,” but things sorted out on its own.

I realize today, it did not come from space of “I will sacrifice this for you” when she gave, neither did she retain ownership when she shared. Interestingly she never lent. If the gap was large she gave, it is was not so large she shared.

Giving maybe not keeping anything for ourselves, giving is preceded by that small evaluation, will I need it sometime? Can I afford to give it away? so we are looking at scarcity.

At the moment what emerges, maybe I need to see myself, what dictates my action giving, and what dictates sharing. Maybe I should have faith in the universe that when I give, that is leave with empty hands have created space for blessings I will receive.

On the hand, giving is offering a piece, while sharing is offering all, particularly in relationships, the more we share our lives with unconditional love and acceptance of another power comes to our lives for others as well as ourselves, maybe the power that created the universe comes to us with dynamic sharing and love within. Sharing is the power to create life and sustain abundance.

Maybe this is my mother’s secret, she shared herself, that is gave unconditional help and service, she did not demand abundance in exchange, she simply filled a gap that she saw. That gave her a sense of purpose, and lot of strength, it also gave her abundance and peace.

I have shared this hope we’ll all give it a thought.

 

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