“She was never there when I needed her.”
“Everyday it was roti sabzi, in the lunch box, or for dinner. I had to throw sever tantrums for her to give me cakes or biscuits.”
Swara’s complaints about her mother went on.
Swara only seem to see the lack…lack of time that her mother gave her. Lack in the kind of food choices Lack in the luxury of mindless shopping .
Swara’s mother Akruti had gone through a painful divorce as her husband got involved with another woman. like most north Indian family a divorced daughter was not welcome. Her father and brother told her that they would help her financially but she would have to stay away from their lives. Till she found a job Akruti accepted the dole that her father gave then, after which she fended for herself and her daughter
But with just a BA and no computer skills it was a tough call. Akruti learnt on the job, it meant going to work half an hour early so that she could learn. After work it was cooking, washing, cleaning ensuring that Swara did her work and maintained her grades.
From an insipid BA Akruti worked on get her MBA and in four years time she landed with a good job, now Swara was 21, working on her BBA program, yet the feeling of lack and loneliness still bothered her.
It took a 21 days of gratitude writing to make her realize the things her mother did for her, single parenting ensuring that there was food in the first place.
If one were to refer to Merriam-Webster Gratitude is defined as being grateful.
Actually gratitude is more than just uttering the mechanical thank you, or in the true toastmaster’s style acknowledge the good first. It has this amazing ability to shift our focus from the negative to appreciating what is positive in our lives. Practicing daily gratitude gives us a deeper connect with ourselves, and world around us.
Gratitude allows us the safety net and it also sensitizes us to the abundance in our life. gratitude actually enhances our mood.
Few things that I realized as we move along towards a goal, if one is grateful for what we already have then it fortifies us to move forward. It is essential to be grateful for what we have else how can we presume that we will be happy with more. Spaces of stagnation are like life knocking on the arse to prod…saying …get up, get up, just get your butt up! Happiness is not absence of problems but it is the ability to deal with them.
Take the gratitude challenge:
Here is how we do it,
- get yourself a gratitude journal. I use a random note book.
- Take a deep breath, and write three things you are grateful for, here’s the catch try to connect with people or incidence as you write. Feel the support it activates endorphins.
Bonus tip: grab a pen and write down the things that have hurt you and experiences of life where you haven’t forgiven people…figure your learning and render a gratitude… I am grateful to this experience for teaching me… this or sensitizing me for this…etc.
“True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.”
― Oprah Winfrey