Just Show UP

Cartons, cartons …more cartons…still more cartons…

I’ve had enough and I though the prompt on Indispire is the best thing to take break. You know writing is always cathartic. Somehow the flow of words on paper seems take away the necrosis caused by the various stressors over the past month and half.  

Here goes, internet… not functional…so jio hotspot zindabad…I had a fair idea as to what I would write about relationship with self etc. Etc.

But what the hell the prompt has changed!!! Where has the week gone?

I realized

There were workshops that I signed up for and did not attend

Google meets that I didn’t turn up on

A shoot that I cancelled.

Despite all this my house is in a mess…. it’s a sure shot for self criticism, and spiralling down to depression. I reached a stage where I have forgotten that I’m a doctor with 27yrs of clinical practise.

This was a wakeup call. Like the Landmark Forum says I had to be present to my breakdown if my conversation is about how small I am then I continue to be small and disempowered.

It begins with picking up the thread in the now and here like the ‘flylady says start from where you are’.

It begins with creating a new possibility with the existing resource and recognizing resources and support as they come along. Most importantly it is about committing ourselves to a new possibility. One way of reclaiming I realized was to set a routine, or like the social media says just show up. When I had committed a week to Padmaja at daffodils I showed up, when I committed to Akhatma on instagram I showed up.

Showing up is the new age word for it… It means honouring your word. The power of integrity. At the end of the day it is a commitment. We honour the word we give someone else why don’t we honour the word we give ourselves. This inability to honour ourselves shows up in so many ways

• We get distracted.
• We take on too many things
• Inability to prioritize.

The game we play is so amazing that we set ourselves for failure, there is an inner observer who announces, see I told you so.

For those of us who like to think we are marching to another drummer, well we look at routines as external controls, or boring, but they are also harnessing. I’ve had many patients saying that their most creative ideas have come up when they are doing the dishes. I have a friend who turns the recorder on when she is doing dishes so that she can record the inner conversation which is usually the seed for her next writing.

If you think showing up is a frivolous social media jargon, commitment s a heavy British word, then let’s get sanskari the word Vrtta what do you think that means, it means commitment too. I take a vrtta to achieve something that vrtta ensures that I stay focused to what I want to achieve.

My commitment for the day is organize my kitchen. Let’s see if I can do it.

As for the indispire lets talk about it another day.