burying the hatchet.

An apology for an inevitable occurance.
Madam President, toastmaster of the day fellow toastmaster and guests,
I am here not to deliver my project 4 but to bury… no not Caesar but the hatchet.
There are times when we propose an excellent plan of action, because nothing short of perfection is expected of us, by us,for us, but then there is something, that intervenes with the human intent. If is very difficult for people who are very meticulous to perceive that things are sometimes beyond control. My apologies for the last time to the people whose perfection was blemished. As I said I am here to honour the scar and bury the hatchet.
A month ago I had volunteered to be the humble Aah counter before all you David Copperfield readers call me Uriah Heep, the ah!counter of the evening is the most easily replaceable one. If I had known that along with being a woman of substance physically my persona was also one, I would have insisted that we relocate the meeting at my humble residence (I know that Uriah Heep is going to charge me quite a packet for this copyright) we could have had an unique meeting in candle light, and the aroma of the aromatic candles with drifting wafts of burnt electrical wiring would have definitely been exotic, if not quixotic. To me it would be company in the dark too. But the revelation came to me in an email excuse me a torrent of email the next day.
Of course burying the hatchet will not pardon me, for not circumventing the president, VP education or any of the committee members and directly informing the toastmaster of the day, you see I was under the impression (a carryover from my stint as VP education) it was the VPE who needed to troubleshoot, and I was also under the misconception that the secretary of the club would be a responsible member. After all he is always on time. Many a times the first person to be there. Hope this creates a depth in the burial crypt.
A month ago I had also volunteered for a spoken role, since I am normally a stand by speaker, for the uninitiated the standby speaker is a person who steps in when a speaker does not turn up. I thought it would be a good idea to royally stand at the lectern. My apologies Mr. VP Education for putting you through this embarrassment.
Things do go off the schedule and there are people who cannot crisis manage, or trouble shoot if I have placed anyone in that position then I am Uriah Heep once again.
The purpose of table topics is to allow us handle these minor hiccups, thinking on your feet as madam president calls it, and presenting it gracefully. It looks like we are kind of mixed in the way we spell our graceful. We seem to spell it grey’s full. My humble apologies to all who have been disturbed, whose egos are hurt and perfections are blemished.
For those of you who think I have split with Dayanand and found a replacement in Uriah Heep then Uriah Heep is a character from David Copperfield the ultimate villain who is David’s antagonist described as tall, lanky, pale given to constant hand movements, which we contemporary physicians call dystonia, a condition where repetitive hand movements are made.
With this apology rendered, there is a crypt waiting to be filled and copyrights to paid Messieurs Mark Anthony and Charles Dickens. Thank you for the freedom of speech

unapologetically yours.
PS: are my rhetoric devices in place?