The last episode of sathyameva Jayathe spoke of dowries, Aamir Khan spoke of the northe-east culture of no dowry.
I think we are the only country that approves human trafficking,
South-west India also went with the same culture of matriarchy and matrilineal society. But Sardar Vallabhai Patel and his united India, Ambedkar and his aryanization has left the society confused. For those of you who want to know the deep psychological identity crisis it has cause kindly read up Dr.Malavika Kapoor’s research in Psycology. The excerpts of which are archived in the illustrated weekly.
A minister from Punjab spoke about how the exploitation of girls, occurs, where the girls parents spend about 15 lakhs on a wedding and the girl for an NRI groom, how it was unfair.
This is a moment of reckoning here.
The groom is a commodity, and the price of the commodity depends on its saleability, that is what the NRI groom is banking one. The question raised here are many
- Why this craze to go abroad.—Son-in-law in US or Canada means a better performance appraisal for the parents.
I have a friend who is the head of the department of a medical college and scheduled to become Dean of medical studies, but her father still picks on her for not being married.
- Why don’t we let the girls choose their spouses. I am not talking in terms of Draupadi or Sita’s swayamvar, where they were commoditites I am talking in terms to the swayamvar of Rukmini
When a girl chooses a partner somewhere she is accepting her sexuality, there is a male who makes her aware of her femaleness, which violates our moral uprightness… we’ll go a little more into this tomorrow.
About twenty years ago the gaudy weddings began making their entry, shivalli Brahmin communities of south kanara, . with the emergency of workforce migration—Yes Maccha it is the migrant worker syndrome, and nuclear families, what started off as conviencence twenty years ago has become a norm, or a must in today’s weddings, with popularity of TV and publicizing north Indian culture, mehendi and sangeet’s have become a must.
Where the groom wore a white cotton dhoti, and the bride a simple silk sari, we have a trousseau of ugly sherwani for the groom, and a horde of sari’s and gagra’s for the bride which I doubt if she will ever wear again.
When we were kids since people came from distances breakfast of Upma and Pohe would be served now we an elaborate breakfast menu, engagements which used to be a quiet family affair have become social events with corn usli instead of the tradition chanadaal sundal, and the whole gamut of opulence flaunting and status declaring has become social acceptable.
When my husband and I tried to put our foot down during our wedding my parents said no, we have social obligations and this is the only way we can return it, we don’t want to burden your brothers in-laws fair enough, but I know that the wedding eve get together, was in its early stages then.
When we say no gifts, very good, the concept of gifts came up to help the couple set up home. But we don’t do away with the sari for the brides sister, gifts for the grooms brother-in-law etc.
I really admire my cousin Anitha I wish I had her moral strength she put her foot down and they had a very simple wedding with just the people that meant a lot to them, in the evening my Aunt and Uncle had an event to satisfy their social commitments, of course people did spew a whole lot of comments but who cares?