Letting Anger Flow:
“I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish… You see, it is difficult to get all which I want. And then when I do not succeed I get mad with anger.”
― Simone de Beauvoir
Like I have shared before, anger is one emotion that I am often dealing with. It is kind of my go-to emotion. To remedy I had to start noticing when and why I get angry.
There are times that I felt, anger came from a deep place that demands acknowledgment and expression, it had become a habit, so much so I was scared of what will I do if let the anger go? This made it easier for me to express anger as compared to other emotions, but eventually I realized that anger had taken hold of me and blocked other emotions out.
If this true of your life, the first thing you might want to try is to notice when you get angry. Usually there is a pattern, it could be situations, people in a particular situation. For me it was very difficult to identify the pattern for I seemed perpetually angry, that’s when I kept a journal, it allowed me to face my anger without trying to look good, it meant examining who in my family expressed a lot of anger , how do I deal with anger in others, my own personal relation with anger—like the fact I was more comfortable with anger than expressing affection. This became a formidable agent for transformation.
As I started working with my blocks I realized that anger was like flowing water, there was nothing wrong it, as long as let it flow. While hate was like stagnant water. The anger that I denied was my denial to of freedom to feel, the freedom to flow: like water that gathered in one place and left to forget. Stagnant water becomes dirty, stinky, disease ridden poisonous, deadly that was the hate I created. On flowing water travel little paper boats called forgiveness, when I allowed myself to feel the anger, I allowed the water flow along with all the paper boats of forgiveness—I became human.
Have you noticed,, when we are sad we don’t do anything, we just cry over our condition. But when we get angry we bring about a change. Anger is jus anger it isn’t good. it isn’t bad. It just is. What we do with it is what matters. It’s like anything else. We can use it to build or destroy. We just have to make the choice.
But withholding anger is nurturing bitterness and bitterness is like cancer. It eats on the host. But anger is like fire. It burns all it all clean. I would like to say somewhere I’ve tried to be forgiving. And yet, there were times in my whole years, when anger got the better of me. lets me be honest most of the times anger got better of me, the ugliness turned me inside out. There was a kind of satisfaction in bitterness, I courted it. it was as though it was standing outside and I invited it.
Anger can be a powerful ally since it is filled with energy that we can harness and use to create change in the world. It is one of the most cathartic emotions and it also be very effective cleanser of the emotional system. However when it becomes a habit it actually loses its power to transform and becomes an obstacle to growth. Identifying the role anger plays in your life and restoring it to its proper function can bring new energy and expansiveness to our emotional life..