Last evening I met Savio, after the initial hi how are you I asked him, how is Betty long time since I saw her… my bad..she had passed away about two years ago. his wife Betty and I were moms with the kids in the same class. We met each other every afternoon for 5yrs, that built a kind of connect. We met up coffee and sometimes went to shop together. About three years back she fainted on morning and it was discovered she had a worm lodged in her brain and it was a ticking bomb. A year later she died.
That’s how self centred I am, and probably many more like me. life goes no, we can crib to eternity how things don’t work for us but we do need to look into is making life work for us.
Handling life, family, work is like we are trying to be supermen/women. But many things can be edited, and many more delegated.
For the past 6months– I am trying to put my varying responsibility beginning with work, to handling near adult kids, and parents, parents-in-law everyone a slice of my time and trying to make it work. I should be feeling overwhelmed, I am not, I feeling like my report card shows non-performance. at the end of each day it is as if I am hopelessly behind schedule and time is running out. However regardless of how frustrating this can be, these are the parameters that make up my life, and I owe to myself to make it work.
What I did do to overcome is refused to buckle under the pressure of an impossible to-do-list, and began to view the larger perspective. I had to realize I cannot do everything myself, I needed to delegate, I needed to accept help and understand the word share all over again.
Paying someone to clean up my house was an option I used for a while, but that option fell through, ensuring that my family chipped in is what I could do, what I had to deal with here is the guilt of delegation. Accepting my partner’s help in home care without going on a guilt trip was another area that I had to work with. Creating three hot meals each day and one lunch pack before 7.30 does run me crazy, so I have now learnt to compromise. It is fresh food each day, but time slot is set aside.
Accepting that we need to make adjustments to make our lives work is an essential ingredient to being at peace with our situation.
At the end of the day, it was about coming to terms with changing what I can and accepting what I cannot change. Sometimes, laundry piles up, sometimes dusting is a challenge, a sick child may require more attention pushing us off the schedule. Accepting and allowing this momentary state of affairs and trusting my ability to get back to track when time is right, most important was to give perfection, and accept life as it came.
Of course I had support and guidance from www.flylady.net
At the end of the day this day passes too.
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