Permission to forgive ourselves
At the Landmark forum, we come across lot of stuff.
But usually what we are dealing with is grudges not let gone, and wrongs we have not forgiven. Both wrongs done to us, and we have done to others, still worse is our inability to forgive ourselves.
So many of us seem to be dwelling in guilt that is like we are living our life with an anchor tied to our ankle dragging us down.
To accept something that I perceive is wrong is very difficult. My upbringing was such that I had been brought to accept that it is normal to feel guilty about my actions and by doing so, it made feel alright within myself. The challenge for me was though I did feel that I had a reason to make up for the choice I made, it was more important for me to learn how to deal with it in a healthy positive way, through understanding and forgiveness, forgiveness towards both myself and others.
The exercises at the forum were designed to look back at our past and really assess what happened, and then I realized that there were many dimensions to my actions. While feeling guilty did assuage my feeling initially it was just a short term solution. I did find it rather incongruous that being hard on myself was the easy way out. The forum taught me to look at my life with clinical detachment, while hypnotherapy taught me look for what’s the learning here, but it was Louise Hay technique that made me look at my own life and action with compassion. The combination of the three made me realize that there was much to what I do and have done than I realized.
Maybe I was trying protecting myself or others and did the best I could at that time, or maybe I chose a solution at the heat of the moment out of sheer desperacy. Whatever be it dwelling on it only made me feel worse. The interesting part of the exercise was letting go exercise, forgiving myself for the choices I made, or judgements I perceived and made, this lead me to heal resentment from the past.
It also meant I had to give myself the permission to feel at peace with my past actions, it was the most positive step that I could take towards living a life free from regrets, disappointments, and guilt. The more I was able to remind myself that the true path to a peaceful mind and heart is through acceptance of every part of our lives and actions, the more harmony and inner joy I experienced.