Over the last two years, with increasing number of teenagers coming for therapy, there is a trend, that I see that they are unable to accept that childhood friendships are out grown. I realized it need not necessarily be only with school friends or romantic relations; this could happen in the space of any relationship.
All the same leaving a long-term relationship is hard; sometime it is a necessary step to moving towards what you would like to receive in life. When issues within the relationship are not working and all energies seem too focused on repair and ironing out, it might be a good idea to look hard. I am looking hard at couple of such relations. I know I need to move on, but emotional strings but more importantly just the situation of having to face change makes the whole exercise a revolution.
We seem stay in not so healthy relationships for whatever the reason, from avoiding pain, to questioning our very concept of happiness. I think sometimes, we even relish the idea that the true happiness is not out there so that we can avoid the pain of change. While, the yearning to be fulfilled does remain, fulfilment also happens to be vital and healing. Maybe the courage and commitment to follow this call comes only when we know deep within us, that we deserve to happy no matter where we are at this moment, moving is not just justified but is mandatory. The first step is moving out of what is holding us back.
Moving out, means letting that in turn means to come to realize that some people or relationships are part of our history but not part of our destiny.
we are conditioned to believe that holding on and hanging are signs or great strength and morality, however there are times when it- takes greater strength to know when to let go and then do it.
Of course it does hurt to let go, sometimes it is as we the harder we try to hold on to something or someone, the more it wants to get away. There are times when I have felt like a criminal, or demanding childish person for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted, it confuses, because on side is a thought that says the feelings are wrong and it makes us so small because it’s hard to keep it inside when we let it out it doesn’t come back. The feeling is of being so alone that one cannot really explain. There is nothing like that, is there? We’ve all been there some time or the other.
All the same taking the first step is hard, but the happiness that we experience when we free ourselves from a situation that drains our energy will outshine any hardship we undergo to get there. Maybe that is the horizon that we keep our eyes on, as we untangle from the relationship that no longer fits. Every step brings us closer to a relationship that will work, and the freedom we need to find the happiness we deserve.