Miracles do happen, and Grandmothers, are the guardian angels of their grand-daughters.
If my second daughter is all popular young lady today, I have my gynaecologist Dr.Kasturi Nayak to thank, I had gone for my monthly check up just before we left for the parking slot, she said let me listen to my grandbaby and she heard the foetal beats drop, it was an emergency she had me wheeled to the labour theatre and helped my little brat to emerge.
The seventh month was rather amusing, because the baby within, would begin to kick precisely at 12.15 and continue to do so until she heard the older child’s voice. And she would flip in the exact direction from which my older daughter spoke.
One day I heard a serious conversation between my four year old and my friends five year old, both of us were expecting our second kids, my daughter had her Barbie in carry bag, with a vacuum cleaner tube inserted , she was explaining to my friends daughter how the baby was eating.
When I had a second baby, my older one was quite comfortable, as she wanted a sibling. She had decided a name, for a brother and a name for a sister.
Over the years, I have learnt some truths, about bringing up more than one child.
- Love for the second child is not as much as the first definitely not; the second child is just as precious as the first born.
- The love for the first diminishes – well this does not happen though the power of expression might be less. Somewhere the first child has not seen the parent’s lover him/her so the impression of being less loved does come. I always made it a point to tell my daughter her antics.
- Your work will double—myth the work load increases multi-fold, not only are we dealing with two different sets of need three different food tracks, three sleep patterns, mountain of wash load catnaps and hot doas are history.
- With the second we are more experienced… hello have you heard of individuality. Try asking the kids for a menu, they will give the exact opposite of one another. Each child has their own milestone and their own way of easing their way into life. Comparisons do happen, and it is great to share it with the older one, that way the older child feels part of the family.
- I developed one sensor with the first child and the second one with the second child.
- We thought we would have fewer pictures of the younger one, but interestingly we landed up more pictures of the younger one, of course, there albums of pictures of both my pretty daughters.
- We do play favourites; the favourite of the day is the one who makes that day easier.
- Siblings are rivals and playmates rolled in one, with first we become parents with the second we become referees. They cannot do with each other, neither can do without.
Being a mother is not about birthing a child into the world, rather it is about repeatedly birthing into the child’ a steady sense of their inestimable worth, a prized understanding of their authentic self, a conviction that the impossible is largely the stuff of myth and an utterly unwavering belief that cold actions of men never represent the warm heart of God. It is the relentless act of birthing these things into the inner most soul of a thirsty child that makes a woman a mother.