Psst…answer me quick, Purrson

Apparently it is answer your cats question today, in Uncle Sam’s land.

Let’s not get catty or bitchy here, good for the cats. Initially I did find it funny, but on second thoughts, I wondered about cats and dogs. Let me start out stating my stand on it, I hate domesticating animals, there is something fundamentally against nature about it all.  then we make it house friendly by clipping its nails, we then want to mask its odour, control the hair shedding I mean make it everything uncatlike.

Think about it, cats are the smallest form of felines, yet they have survived man when their more powerful cousins have gone extinct. Like Christopher Hitchens observes in The Portable Atheist The Essential Reading For Nonbeliever” “Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.”
”

If animals could speak the dog would probably be a blundering outspoken fellow but the cat… would turn its nose in disdain and have the grace of never saying a word too much. Back to answering your cats question…. let’s get c (h) atty and not bitchy.

“Meow”

“Yes”

Ps note meow translates of woof in bitchy for all other translation please refer FelesCanis-Hamster dictionary or Lingua Beastalis,

I know that it answer your cats question day, but even when we have a conversation with a spirit attachment we begin with hello, I am so and so can I know your name. Imagine someone doing to a cat.

“Hi, kitty, I shall you Rajesh Khanna,”

“Meow” from now on, I shall put in the translation. “Cats don’t have name”

“No?” asked the surprised owner for she had just named her cat “Rajesh Khanna” and the rest of the family called her Kitty. But the cat insisted,

“Cats don’t have names, because we know who we are, unlike humans who need names because they do not know who they are!!”

“Okay I am here to answer your questions if you any.”

Actually human it is a waste of my time, but since you ask, let us clear the air here,

“Why do you want me in your life?”

“For companionship”

“Yet you are away the whole day, and  when you go out, you lock up everything and just a leave two rooms for me to move about, you don’t even leave a window open for me ..”

“Well you mess up the place; scratch the table legs, go potty on the bed, and what if you got lost outside,”

“Well, human, maybe you do not realize this but we cats are loyal to a house and locking in…Duh… you cramp my style.  I need to establish my territory, it is a very feline thing to do, like my big cousin the lion there can be only one feline for an area. Coming back what is this stink about potty place?”

“Of course, it is gross to go potty all over the place, particularly when you have litter box”

“Oh! Yeah out in the open where everyone can see…during our wilder days, we went to shades behind the bushes, or hid our potty in the sand, sometimes, I am sick and I cannot help it.”

“can we work a signal that tells you to leave me alone, like you tell your partner you have a head ache, there are days I don’t want to be petted you get it?”

“Why do you get ballistic when I knock stuff over, particularly from over the fridge?”

“For one you could fall, and then it is my house”

“Well darling when you get a cat in, it is the cat’s house, and all self respecting cats perch on the highest point to survey their domain.”

“Why do you talk down to me, when you spot a mouse?”

“Its suppose to be a cat delicacy mice I mean, and it is also supposed to be your job to catch mice.”

“My job she says, after clipping my claws, shampooing my fur, and not letting me develop my hunting skills…duh!”

“Okay how do I let develop hunting instincts,”

“By letting me check out sounds and investigating things,”

“But hone, curiosity kills the cat.”

How like a human to get only part of the story right…”human, the rest of the saying goes satisfaction brought it back. Coming back to the questions human what is the issue with scratching the furniture?”

“….”

“I need to honey, remember you want me to catch the mice.”

“Enough, enough I think Kitty; I have answered enough of your questions,”

“Fine human I understand to err is human, as long as you realize to purr is feline.”