The Grinch, Gin and Tonic and FIRGUN

Yup it is firgun and I will remind you to give your compliments generously.

Envy the green eyed monster, or even the Christmas grinch we see.      There are some of us who are generous enough to offer a comforting shoulder to someone in trouble.      After all there is a halo attached to it.    yet someone getting successful, sends us into the grinchworld, with envy being the spectre or sometimes, it is just insecurity, if Roshan gets the pie then there will none left for me!     

Strangely my observation through years of grinch-hood and hypnotherapy is appreciation harness appreciation.

Lets get to the details in a while. Jewish the most whatever in the world they seemed to either feared or envied,  celebrate a day called firgun its on the 1f7th of July.    It kind of translates to unadulterated joy for someone else’s success.   It’s a praised with no hidden agenda. it is a straight compliment not one of those disguised barbs.  The power of a genuine complement is so potent that the jews designated an entire day to it.

A global day to put our jealousy aside and say nice things to each other on and offline.   Jealousy of course is another potent master, it gives you a direction in life, but that is for another post.      today is Friday, so we have an entire weekend to practise.

This is not a good karma cliché or feel good, this neuroplasticity in practise.   Think of a person with clenched jaw, we go on vigilant and combat mode immediately.  But firgun – mind you not flattery is handing that frantic sweaty ego a stiff, gin and tonic and asking it to take a chill pill.   Essentially it douses the ego.      By choosing joy over envy we are building a new neural pathway.      Our brain recognizes that someone else’s light does not dim our own.  we all have our own special place in the universe. As we appreciate abundance around us, our subconscious stops panicking about scarcity.      Just listen to the always chattering mind of your, we are acknowledgint the abundance of lack—again meat for another post.      however what you appreciate appreciates, so go ahead and appreciate what you really appreciate in someone.     If you do not know what then see what you envy in the other, that is precisely what you appreciate.

The grinch in us so strong that Buddy Elf has a tough time entering.  We need to trick the subconscious a bit here.   There are two ways that I can share and infinite that you can come up on your own here is listing some:

• The comparision detox ritual– this is a small, delightfully absurd solo performance. It speaks the language of the subconscious—symbol, sensory drama, and a touch of nonsense.
• What you need: A small bowl of water, a pinch of turmeric (for purification and because it stains things yellow, which adds high stakes), a flower (even an imaginary one will do), a candle, and your journal.
• The Steps:
  • Light the candle and declare to the empty room with the gravity of a Shakespearean actor: “I now release the belief that I must earn love by being faster, richer, or more perfect than everyone else.”
  • Drop the flower into the water. Say: “I return my envy to the fire of transformation. Let it sizzle like a cartoon villain.”
  • Dip your fingers in the yellow-tinged water and touch your forehead (to clear your suspicious thoughts), your heart (to melt the cold spots), and your navel (where the ego-gremlin likes to nest).
  • Open your journal and write down three things you genuinely admire in someone else (their effortless wit, their outrageous confidence, or their ridiculously well-behaved dog). Then, write three ways you already express those exact qualities in your own weird, slow, awkward way.
  • Blow out the candle, give yourself a wink in the mirror, and move on with your life.

Option B: The No-Nonsense Direct Strike

If you don’t have turmeric or the patience for candle-lit therapy, go for the jugular of modern communication:

• The Surprise Compliment: Send a message to someone out of the blue. No preamble, no asking for a favor afterward. Tell your colleague, “You handled that absolute disaster of a meeting with incredible grace today.” Tell a friend, “I was just thinking about how resilient you are. You’re doing a bloody marvelous job.”
• Use the “Firgunator”: If your brain is too dry to invent nice words, go to [www.firgunator.com](https://www.firgunator.com). It’s a nifty little web tool created by the folks at Made in JLM that generates multilingual compliments at the click of a button. It is basically an AI designed to bypass our natural human grumpiness.

Halo or no halo, practising figun is not a saintly ritual, it is a single quite moment of surrender.   A moment, where you look at someone else thriving in their own bright time time.  Yes our own life is messy and chaotic, and great news, both are allowed to exist together.

Expressing genuine, well earned praise in a culture that thrives on insecurity is a small beautiful act of defiance.      It tells the world outside and the mind within that we are not locked in an arena fighting to death for validation.   We are just a bunch of ridiculous struggling humans trying to get by.

If you are game to bid good bye to grinch.      Dedicate a compliment to someone who you genuinely appreciate in the comment box. Still better, open you messaging app. And send that authentic genuine message before the grinch gobbles you.