For a longtime I felt I was dealing with anger, one day it occurred that I was in the wrong war. That is anger was not the issue resentment was.
Resentment is a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistant ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult or injury. When anger has no outlet it can morph into resentment and carries the potential to create greater damage.
Anger frankly when properly channelled is a great tool in our emotional palette. We all experience anger sometime or the other, the question is how do we deal with it? when we don’t express it, it morphs into resentment.
Resentment I realized allowed me to assign blame for the pain I was feeling, that eased the pain, resentment had hidden relentlessly just below my awareness eroding my peace of mind. the target of my resentment grew wickeder in my mind with each pondering it was almost the manifestation of the vamana avatar, with the little feet compassing the universe!
When I took my certification CTRT I actually grasped the fact that aresentment was just another emotion and that was something that I eventually figured out that in harbouring the anger, bitterness and resentment towards those who hurt me, I was giving the reins of control over to them. Forgiving was not about accepting their words or deeds, it was about letting go and moving on with my life. When I did so I had finally set myself free.
It was almost like letting someone live in my mind rent free. The hardest part was understanding letting go, it didn’t mean I didn’t care, or it was okay to hurt me, it meant, coming to terms with the realization that some people were part of my history but not of my destiny.
Once I was free of resentment, I had more energy and attention to devote to my personal development I could fill the space it left behind with unconditional acceptance and joy.