We become parents the moment we give have a child, but parenting is a different game ball 24/7 is the only shift they offer specially if you’re a mother, I have heard about this from my grandmother one who would be 100 odd years if she was alive and another who would be 90, and from my mother who is 71 and my own experiences. But it does come with a lot of lighter moment.
Here is an interesting conversation between my daughter and her friend.
“How does the baby eat in mama’s stomach?” was the other kid’s question.
“See this is mama’s stomach” my daughter says showing a carry bag, then she puts a doll into it. And very patiently explains, “This is the baby inside it.”
After this she inserts a vacuum cleaner hose and tells her ,”there is pipe from amma’s stomach to baby’s stomach, the food goes in like this” she says turning the vacuum cleaner’s expel button on. I was really surprised that she had understood what I had explained when she asked me and was able to actually convey it.
Then came the gizmo’s into our lives, the PC’s, the laptops and the mobiles. The younger one is the gizmo girl. the camera, the PC the laptop they all just seem to obey her, her introduction to the world of gizmo’s occurred when she was two years and few months, when the older kids were very “adult” and working on the computer my three year few months old nephew took this kid to the computer guided her to a button, and told her “off” the rest of the afternoon two of them would hit the off button every time the older ones turned the PC on.
The other day it was rather a pleasure watching my daughters flank my mother and teach her how to use her new Android phone. My uncles and aunts in their early 70’s line up home when my younger daughter is at home to learn how to use the laptop. Somehow technology has brought our family closer instead of creating a chasm , so the techno war that my peer talks about does not really exist in my space.
Today, my younger daughter shoots photographs, or my husband does they then work round it, while my older daughter and I use it for our blogs. It is the younger one who has taught me how to uses the various apps, while the older one has downloaded the apps for doctors. They whatsapp my mom, or skype her. The most interesting thing was they actually got my mother-in-law to participate in a prayer group that she wanted to, by linking her up on Skype. Like my young wise woman would like to say, technology is a tool, what we do with it is our look out.
Parenting I realize is a journey with no road map and even experientially highly customized. My own take on what I figured with parenting… this is not an advice just a share.. That it could be us, as individuals or our children what they become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they are not really trying to teach us, we are formed by little scraps of wisdom. For where I stand the best thing we can for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway.. Let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.
Children are people, and they should have to reach to learn about things, to understand things, just as adults have to reach if they want to grow in mental stature. Life is composed of lights and shadows, and we would be untruthful, insincere and saccharine if we tried to pretend there were no shadows, most things are good, and they are the strongest things; but there are evil things too, and you are not doing a child a favour by trying to shield him from reality. The important thing is to teach a child that good can always triumph over evil.
Some stuff that were handed down to me by my parents and grandparents
- It is important that every child realizes that there is no absolute right or absolute wrong there is only appropriate – this was from my father.
- It is important that- a child learns to be true to itself, the world will then follow it.
From aunt we learnt that a task has to done, don’t treat it like a virtue or a sin, neither is it gender specific.
Another tip I am really greatful for is my grandmother telling me, fix a meal time and location. And the minute the child can sit up let her join you on the dining table. Of course it will be messy initially but she will learn to eat by herself soon.
My mother gave me a really good one, till the age of 6 love the child to bits, from 8-16, be a task master, from 18 onwards treat your kid like a friend . Learning to accept failure is just as important as winning.
My grandmother used to tell me, no matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behaviour and it’s not about the kids we are talking here, their behaviour will be normal.
My mother would tell, I know it is hard for you as a young mother to believe that almost before you turn around the children will be gone and you will be alone with your husband. You had better be sure you’re are developing the kind of love and friendship that will delightful and enduring. Let the children learn from your attitude that he is important. Be kind, it is a rough world and your kid, like everyone is fighting to survive , be cheerful and not a whiner.
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