Life…Whats next?

Dear Zindagi
You are mystery aren’t you, I mean each day begins without a clue as to how it is going to go, I could go anyway, anywhere it is the beginning of the rest of my life. Actually when I think of life and mystery I kind of agree with Oscar Wilde, true mystery is not the invisible it is the visible. Zindagi you can be exciting and excitement adds thrill, wonder and energy to life. it this thrill that brings me back to the now and here.
I guess which is why I think of you as an mystery.. Dear Zindagi what a mystery you are strange is it not. The minute I say mystery a picture of a mist and smoke, a woman with gun, someone shot… a scream and whodunit emerges, the trail of clues the sifting of the actual leads from the red herring the adrenaline rush the final answer what we always knew it was the butler!!
Well my epiphany here was something totally different. you do not work mysteriously you are the mystery just the experience of taking a different road to the same destination, the vista is totally different, one comes across newer vendors with newer buyers mothers calling out are different, sometimes there are no mothers calling out but there are mothers looking out for someone to sit by them and give them that hearing.
Sometimes it is a child that is peddling through the sidewalk on her tricycle sometimes it is an elder trying to walk with dignity that he once had… before he had to combat arthritis. the shrubs that flower are different, so the shade giving trees. It amazing how much one different turn can change our life.
The new incense that we burn the smell it evokes is a mystery just as our own reactions to it. Sometimes these fragrances actually trigger some long forgotten memory. Or the mystery of cooking a new vegetable.. For me it is vegetable after all I am vegetarian. Everything is just amazing.
Zindagi I think hence forth I shall call you Neshamah the whispering will you be my friend, shall we walk this walk together?
In psychiatry we are told that the known is pleasure and unknown is pain. Some even talk of the fear of the unknown, but on the brink of unrevealing a mystery there is everything the anticipation, a little fear an over drive of imagination with regard to what might be there, yet it is being in here, it is exhilaration of being alive a past hurt is a forgotten buried with due respect and the scar is its tombstone, while the future incubates… the nerves are tingling adrenaline peaks it is for this moment and what it reveals.
Dear Zindagi I am reminded of that wondrous rainbow, today I know the rainbow just sums you up. Think of it takes both sun and rain to create the rainbow, so the same with life, there are smooth rides, rollercoaster ones, how we deal with it decides our Karma and the quality of our life, there are times when it is essential to work for the pot at the end of the rainbow, there are times when it is essential to just step back and choose the colour on the rainbow that we would like to slide on.
Dear Zindagi thanks for the timely wake I hope I won’t slide back to being a zombie.
“I am writing a letter to life for the #DearZindagi activity at BlogAdda“

Welcome O-Kenobi

w7xxgIf I had a Star Wars special edition notebook, how would I use to show my fun side.

Well lets first get to know two important things here, one the HP Star Wars special edition Notebook and second my concept of fun.

Let me start with the second first, for unless I figure that out, answering the question would be rather silly. I am back at where I started when the Amway woman asked me for my vision. I mean blank. That did it, I decided to get myself a early Christmas gift something called the dictionary. So that I could look up the meaning of fun. Then of course Merriam-Webster bailed me out. I discover Fun can be noun, adjective or verb. Then there was someone who said fun was this crazy thing where smile, and laugh and are generally pleased. Okay… and embracing our inner lunatic was the sure fire way of having fun.

Then came the huge issue of sorting between having fun and enjoying myself. i figure enjoying myself is effect of the fun, it yet there is something very sedate and still about it. while fun is dynamic, exuberant, it conjures a picture of adrenaline flow and then the lips curl up and eyes sparkle.

As I started taking my visual tour of the HP, I already see in my space, and took my first fun step, I goggled “which Star war character are you” there were humongous quizzes. I find that I am Obi-Wan-Kenobi. (Whew that is a mouthful, so through this writing the HP Star War special notebook will be called O-Kenobi short for Obi-Wan-Kenobi.) Obi-Wan-Kenobi the Jedi Knight who is more than what he seems, a cautious leader whose sage guidance and Zen like calm makes him an excellent teacher. He does not seek conflict, as he relies on communication first. but if a fight comes his way he is ready. Hmm I sound quite sedate don’t I its time to gulp that mischief potion and get naughty.(to know which Star War personality you are .Just look at the screen of the O-Kenobi, the space-age look is just wonderful, the power the dark one is viable when the  notebook opens. The left side icons helping us through, I like the recycle bin.. death star it has a wonderful creative station with the storyboard fecility. That would be interesting to do,

introducing O-Kenobi

hey this would be a great space to create the idea I am toying with…  The angirasas and the agnimainyu’s are plotting to gain the power of the geo-energy the mother of all energies that can create and destroy energy I could really use the storyboard, the sound effects and images from the gallery. That would be fun. Creating my own story board. I wish I could do it right away.  Hey… before you steal my idea let me put it in Aurebesh with O-Kenobi you would not need to go this link to translate

w7xq1This has been great, I am looking forward to meeting O-Kenobi in physical reality.

#AwakenYourForce This endeavour is for


Getting my Hands dirty

Here I am working my morning pages. Strangely the things that come in space are gardening, trekking and swimming in the river and not what I thought were my standard hobbies that are theatre and dancing. Strange isn’t it.

Even as a child when I was very upset a walk in the garden or sitting up a tree was very reassuring. When I felt very useless or insecure I would work with the soil that had an immediate healing effect.  It must be my own need to root. It used to be such a pleasure to sink my hands into the warm earth, to feel at the finger tips the possibilities of a new season.

My Paternal grandmother and maternal grandfather were great gardeners. When my daughter was born one of the stories that my grandfather narrated to her was the carrot farm a story of boy who decided to grow carrots in his backyard. My daughter would be very inspired. She actually potted two plants which she would tend to very faithfully.  One was bitter gourd and the other was okra. Each morning she would talk to her plants. I remember she was very worried when I went to my mother’s place about who will talk to my plants when I am gone.

“You talk to the plants here and the winds will carry the words to your plants at Goa” was my grandfather’s reply.

There was this particular okra creeper that had developed veining on its leaves, and I had a lady who helped with childcare she would show the leaf to my daughter and tell her, that an insect walked the leave and stole away its food so the leaf was hungry to ensure that her plants stays fed she should spray water over the leaves.

Somewhere all this caught my daughters fancy and she decided to opt for agriculture at her undergraduate level. Eventually of course she went in for Ayurveda and is interested in working with medicinal plants.

When my brother’s kids came along grandpa had shifted to Manipal to my mom’s place and each morning grandpa would walk round the garden introducing the plants to kids. It was kind of a ritual for about half an hour to 45mnts but it ensured that my grandfather had walk, the kids were introduced to the garden, and sometimes they even did some weeding and picking of vegetables and spices.

I recall my nephew asking grandpa, ”why does nobody like weeds”

“because, they are shy to accept that they like weeds, and we are told weeds are bad.”

“are they not bad”

“no, they are needed to balance things, they are bad only when they over grow. But so is the rose plant if it grows too big its thorn poke the next plant.”

The serendipity of it all I see this

today. It is almost as if the universe is reminding me of a part of myself that I have lost the one that connects me with the earth and my paternal grandmother. Yes I have issues with my maternal grandpa. J

What better time than Navaratri the festival of fertility. Ladies and Gentlemen, fertility festivals are agrarian concepts. I have hereby resolved to

  • By this week end get a compost creator, for the biodegradable waste in my house.
  • I also plan to contact or to order my basic gardening requirement, why online orders, so that I do not procrastinate over having to go the market and buying the stuff.—this in the next hour.

Maybe I shall invite you to a home grown vegetable dinner during Christmas. I already have chilli, tomato, pumpkin and okra seeds so that’s cool.

Maybe gardening is a great way to make peace with Grandpa Krishna Rao. At the end of the day the single greatest lesson that the garden teaches is that our relationship to the planet need not be sum-zero, and that as long as the sun still shines and people can still plan and plant, think and do, we can if we bother to try find ways to provide for ourselves without diminishing the world.

This article was inspired by

@kissanIndia #RealTogatherness

The Big rock speaker

indiblogger (1)There e are lots of trips out there. It’s even possible to become a conference groupie, going from one seminar to another being a beautiful evolved human being until you start making the people round want to throw up.  The networking I scratch your back you scratch mine somehow nauseates me.

As for my blogger status, well for a long time I was a closet blogger I even use a pseudonym so there. But this time when the word up came up… I thought let me attend it.

Like all conferences there was the conference kit, the sampler teased out or the goodie bag at a party you can choose to call it whatever.

goodybag (1)The ….shall we go with goodie bag contained a Mini Bluetooth speaker I am technically challenged so I did not know what it was, back in Goa my husband handled it, that’s when I really appreciated it, I  could plug in my laptop and listen to the lectures and music the volume clarity was amazing.

Next I paired it with my mobile of course the muffled patient recordings that I had, I had almost given up on it thinking I would have to redo it; they were absolutely audible which meant about 24hrs of my work retrieved.

mini blue tooth-- courtesy  .me
mini blue tooth– courtesy .me

We put in a microchip with music on, which went on well too.

The only things we have to figure now is

  • Can I receive my phone calls through this then that would make me hands free.
  • How on earth do we charge the battery?

The mini blue tooth speaker is from the company Music

Supports phone/laptop/tablet PC and Mini micro-card… has a working range of about 10m, working time 5 hours, and an output of 3w.

  • As for the other stuff, I shall get back to you maybe in a week with

Bigrock and .me are walking me through it, will get back when done.

Categories: events, indiblogger, blogger meet product review.

Tags:  word-up, , goody bag, blue tooth speaker

Ah journey through hope. Heavens above! How smashing!

Sharing my journey with
Sharing my journey with

A story of optimism,  written for Happy hours

Visions of positivity, sounds so cheerful.

This happy hour says, optimism can be found all around, in the laughter of children, in excitement of our pets face when we get back after work, and in the smile of the loved ones after months of being away. And now to share my story of optimism, of life, of love, about the world, and its future.

pictures that the prompt throws up in it about what inspires optimism or more precisely what does not let pessism in.

What is optimism? It is the hopefulness, and confidence about the future or the success of something, it has wonderful synonyms like hope, confidence, buoyancy, cheer .good. But we essentially think in pictures, what are the pictures that emerge with these words.

The graphic that appeared to me, when I read the prompt was, we are all lying in the gutter and some of us see the stars, these stars could be after banging our heads, on fall or stars for us to rise to. Optimism could come from nature or nurture. I cannot say, part of being optimist is keeping one’s head pointed towards the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There are many dark moments that we endure, our faiths sorely tested, but if could not give up to despair there is no defeat or death.

One story of optimism that never ceases to amaze me is the story of the hare and the tortoise, we are so focused on the hare and what to learn from him, we learn the wrong lesson from the Tortoise, one could say that the Tortoise was foolhardy to participate in race where his opponent was definitely faster than him, we need to learn optimism, and courage from the Tortoise more than perseverance. Think over this when you have the time, let’s move on, like I have had to each time, life threw a challenge at me.

Being grim, and cautious has become a second nature, simply because we have forgotten to look at things like adventure, we need reassurances, that yes I am just like the other person, we have lost the courage to be unique. It is easier to hide in mediocrity than take a step. Of course there are failures, and success, the journey is about going on despite of it.

My personal anthem has been listen to mustn’ts, listen to the don’ts, listen to shouldn’ts the impossible, the won’ts. Listen closely to me… anything can happen, that’s it, anything can happen.

Through my journey I realized, is optimism is about gaining strength, courage and confidence with every experience in which we really stop to look at fear in the face. We are able to tell ourselves, “I have lived through this horror; I can take the next thing that comes along.” It’s about doing the thing I think I cannot.

I have to come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when I am suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight that I can force our wings to unravel and begin my flight. As I fly I still may not know where we are going, but the miracle is the unfolding of the wings.  I may not know where I am going, but we do know that as long as my wings are spread I know the winds will carry me.

Just leaving you with a quote…

“If you’re reading this…
Congratulations, you’re alive.
If that’s not something to smile about,
then I don’t know what is.”
― Chad SuggMonsters Under Your Head

Quicker moving and settling

blogger 7“I give you this to take with you:

Nothing remains as it was. If you know this, you can
begin again, with pure joy in the uprooting.”
― Judith MintyLetters to My Daughters

Looks, like Indiblogger has decided, that the New year should bring fresh beginning that includes a new location. Moving to a new city involves a process, a little research,  that in my way of working would mean create a check list. I have my check list right at the end.

Moving into a new city, is dicey I mean one would not want to jump into a pool without testing the waters, for us, of course Bangalore is a known territory but visiting a place and living there are definitely different.

Settling in actually like getting used to a new pair of shoes, it pinches a little in the begin, but you like the way they look, so you carry on, the longer you have them the more comfortable they become, until one day without realizing it the new town has become part of you, its like you have been there for eternity,  you cannot imagine life elsewhere.

But a first thing first,   since Bangalore is known territory checking out is not necessary. Still I would like to check out the neighbourhood before actually setting up house. before picking up a house  I would check

  • The distance from our workplace.
  • The distance from rest of the family and friends.
  • Average real estate price in the area.
  • The senior citizen friendliness of the place.
  • Accessibility to medical care,
  • Safety,

This would require information from reliable source, Quickr being one, then of course actually inputs from friends and family.  The next challenge is the transport, is it cost effective to use our personal vehicles or does it make more sense to use public transport.

Rural family moving
Rural family moving

Then comes the nitty gritty of moving stuff, of course doing it ourselves is a great option. I have done it before, still this would be a great time to ditch- donate and pack only those really necessary.  Like I said before though I have done it many times,  I would invite agarwal movers and packers to help me pack up.  Its now look up for someone carpenter to help me reset the house at Bangalore—cross check the- pricing.

The vehicle has to registered and insurance has to redone, this would involve going to the RTO, the options that i can check out here is western automobiles, who deal with all this or again look up Quickr for other options.(services section)

Informing the banks, and other services about the change of addresses, finding corresponding ones at the new location.

Collecting and filing health care documents, like dental and medical records.

Moving in , means creating a new social net work, so I am bound to have friends and family who would visit, people we would have to entertain,  that involve a little know how of possible eat outs, food deliverers,  tour conductors, shopping area. What we did when we moved to Goa was to take the conducted tours so that we got the general hand of the place, then went on our own discovery.  Taking the Karnataka tourism tours would be a great idea but for regular trekking and travelling joining a community might be a good idea—check and   (community and events)

blogger 6CHECK LIST –

At the end of the day, there is always a sadness about packing, I guess there is always hesitation, if where we’re going is as good as where we’ve have been.

written for indiblogger happy hours–

Diva defines the flow

“This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.
“This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.

“Define your uniqueness.
Define your greatness.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita

Well, every woman has something’s that she is passionate about things that make her who she is. After we cannot be neatly labelled and boxed. When I think of women, for that matter even men I think of the six blind men of hindoostan, who felt an elephant and perceived what it is like.

If you ask to define my uniqueness or greatness, I guess it the fact that I am ordinary, mundane with mundane concerns of life, like how do balance my work space with family, how do I take that break without feeling guilty of letting my family fend for themselves.

All my life was about being accepted; I don’t belong seemed to be an anthem created for me, so I did everything that I could do to belong.  I did not like how people defined and labelled me, and then I worked on my values, embraced and practised values that I wanted to be associated with it so that I could belong.

Then one fine day, it occurred to me “what the hell, I don’t belong so this allows me to create the space where I belong.” This awareness was very liberating. I had strengths, but it was not those strengths that defined me, it was what I did with them. The makeover I had with each great challenge in my life, be it the accident that smashed my ankle, be it the crab that called, be it the fire that tried to devour me, I just discovered a different tribe that I could belong. A new tribe that would take me in.

But more importantly I realized how important it was to be an enthusiast in life, so that defines me now, if I am interested in something, no matter what it is, I go at it full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love and am absolutely passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good, hot is not good either white hot and passionate is the only thing to be. Living each moment just for that moment, in totality.

yourstory (1)
Sharing my story at SHEROES

Coming back to defining my self—here is something expresses exactly what I think and feel–

“Interesting that the book used the word define.
That’s just what I’ve been thinking about.
This business of defining who you are
and what you are
and where you are headed-
it’s all harder than I thought it would be.
I thought that this stuff
I thought that life
just happened,
and I guess I thought
I’d drift right along,
like a leaf on a river,
flowing with the current
to wherever the river wanted to go.”
― Kelly BinghamFormerly Shark Girl

If you insist, what defines, me is my flow, like a river. Always flowing but always different, sometimes walking steadily along, and sometimes surging over rapids, sometimes meandering with hardly visible movements, there times when I gurgle with pleasure, sometimes I sparkle brilliant in the sun, sometimes, lazy, static, inviting.

Do I change like the river? Widening and deepening, eddying back on myself, sometimes bursting my banks when there is too much life in me, sometimes dried up from lack of rain. There are times that I wonder if will grow and deepen or just stagnate and become an arid river? Will I let the dam that society builds for me confine me so that I flow the way they deem it right,

So far I flow free, coursing my way through land and ploughing a valley of my own.

This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.